Menu
Swirling with Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

Do Today's Men REALLY Just Want to Be Women?

Posted by Christelyn, 25 Sep

As a woman in her mid-forties, I have been looking on with increasing horror the societal moves towards blurring gender lines to the point of complete neutrality, or worse; guiding men to lean towards a more feminine identity. We see it more and more in company advertising, like Cover Girl bringing in men to be makeup models.

Concurrently I’m reading a multitude of social media posts from women lamenting how “today’s men want role reversals.” Men are not the men they used to be–strong, assertive, focused, masculine–who provide and protect. The world is quickly becoming a gradient of some type of version of a female.

Find your soulmate on DateWhoYouWant

Join Free

In an article published (predictably) in the New York Times, fashion houses are becoming for “hip” to gender fluidity. Those who have observed and support the trend even say that traditional gender-specific clothing is so… "cis" and basically, boring.

"It is that putative way of life, and its vast accompanying social media cohort, that has suddenly made the young models so attractive to advertisers. These companies are eager to court and capture a generation of consumers in which, according to a report prepared by the J. Walter Thompson innovation group, 50 percent personally know someone who identifies as gender fluid."

This gives totally new meaning to “clothes make the man.” If clothes can make them, then the style, cut and feminization of them that obviously be neutering.

My question is, are today’s men simply just OKAY with this trend? In five years, will it become commonplace to see a heterosexual man in the makeup section at CVS and demand that dresses in the women’s section be more square to accommodate a man’s lack of hips?

Who are these people pushing this? Do they REALLY want REAL, MASCULINE MEN like this to just…go away? Is this too “rapey” for them?

friends smoking cigars

And young women, are you really OKAY with men of your generation doing this?

man in makeup

Compare the two. I just…can not. This is so beyond the scope of tolerance for the queer community. This is now imposing on “heteronormative” folks by shaming them for being behind the times. Reminds me of the time that a person on my Facebook timeline who suggested that if straight women wouldn’t date transgendered people and expressed a firm preference for biologically born men, they were bigots.

If this is what goes for a man these days, get me a bunch lesbian.

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, and operate the first forum dedicated to black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.

Related Stories

More Swirling Articles

9 responses to "Do Today's Men REALLY Just Want to Be Women?"

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   RMBE320 says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 18

    First thing: s a 47 year old male that is very confident in myself as a man, I have ditched all but one social media outlet and I do not own a tv. I do not watch the news, read about current events on the web, go to Reddit, Twitter, Snapchat (which I just found out isn't a dick pic app anymore) or Facebook. I have an Instagram to keep up with my sisters kids and that's all. So if you are looking for men the are confident in themselves, we're not on social media. That is why you won't hear from us unless you encounter us IRL. We do not give a shit about trends or opinions. We do not listen to whatever social cause is the flavor of the month. We just do not care. We are too busy living our lives. This accounts to why you only see the girly men online. Secondly, the reason we have left the 'internet' to live in the real world is because for decades the women movement, the news, society and racism claims have told us that masculine men are predatory and shameful. These movements have shamed and hunted us as the reason society is in the shape it is in: it is all the privileged white mans fault. Personally I think it's everyones fault due to a lack of moral compass and personal responsibility coupled with the almost immoral amount of success and lack of need to work/fight/survive we have in the advanced societies of the world. We have no enemies or trials or worries, so we make them up. Men like me, men that are friends of mine have abandoned 'social media' in favor of real life. We are tired of being blamed for all the worlds woes and told we need to change. We do not want to be a slightly more manly version of a woman. We want to be men so we left the areas of life that demand we change. We are out there, you just have to close that app on your phone and look up into the crowd for us.Just know when you look up and sees looking at you, it is because we find you attractive and want to know if there is a connection, were not stalking you pervertedly.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
    • exoticone1 says:
      Posted: 09 Mar 19

      Exactly true!!!! Bottom line, no matter how much make-up, surgery, or lies the media spews out personal gender identity or personal association...GENETICS always demonstrates the fact....A woman is a woman and a man is a man....doesn’t matter what you choose to write down on a piece of paper or “Feel” you are a woman, not a man...or vice versa!!! Feelings change like the wind...Genetics determine male and female, NOT personal feelings, make-up, clothing, or surgery!!!!

      Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
      Reply to this comment
  2.   Prismatic says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 18

    I'm a millennial and I like masculine men. I feel most progressives are trying to blur the line in order to make transgenderism more accepted by destroying the "social construct" of gender.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  3.   iamunique41 says:
    Posted: 30 Sep 18

    In part agreement with Paganinifan. I think in some communities, there is actually an unwillingness to accept a wide perspective of views. People who do not understand why someone wants to change their gender, or prefers their own sex, are being seen as "bigoted" and "dangerous". I have no problem with other people's views, but I have a problem when they attack my views and beliefs, and cannot accept that we are different. One thing that gets forgotten, is that true freedom of speech comes with responsibility, and individuals have to accept that their views will be challenged, and be prepared to accept those challenges with good grace and intelligent discussion, not just to shout down the challenge because they do not like the response.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  4.   Paganinifan says:
    Posted: 28 Sep 18

    It’s liberlas pushing this. I’ve got no problems with transgender people but I have a problem with transgenderism being forced on everyone. Your last line was right “it’s too rapey for them”. Men are all rapists in the eyes of liberals and feminists (I swear these people hate their fathers) so by emasculating men, they feel more comfortable around them.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
    • exoticone1 says:
      Posted: 09 Mar 19

      I agree 100%!!! I don’t care or wish to know what other people choose to do behind closed door, it’s none of my business!!!!

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment

Swirling

Find your soulmate on DateWhoYouWant

Join Free

Coaching Testimonial

"The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience"

Submitted by: Karen, USA, 34

My Dating Coach really took the time to go through my profile thoroughly. First she viewed my pictures and gave me great feedback.

She read through the written portion of my profile, line by line, and gave direct feedback on how to add my personality to it.

My amazing consultant, even asked how my contacts where going and offered a few suggestions to increase my interactions with new men.

I took her advice and made the suggested adjustments.

I have received more contact from men, more views, and have started communicating with more people which was the whole point of joining the site in the first place.

The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience. Thanks!

Find out more

Most Popular

Your Comments