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QOTW: White Girlfriend Reacts Negatively Towards Interracial Couple on TV.

Posted by Christelyn, 05 Jul

In this age and era of multiculturalism, you would expect most of the people to have embraced interracial relationships and couples. Sadly, some of us are still lagging behind.

Our question this week comes from a multicultural man. His grandmother is Indian making him part Indian. Well, his girlfriend recently went "Eew" in disgust when she saw an interracial couple on TV. She might have even added that interracial couples gross her out. The guy is wondering if he should keep seeing her or dump her, seeing as he mixed race; typically making their relationship a mixed one.

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The Question:

Me and my girlfriend, let's call her Lucy, have been dating for about a year. We've been pretty happy together, not that many fights or incidents--until yesterday.

We were at her dorm room and were watching this reality show on television (while drinking wine, so we were kind of tipsy). In the middle of the episode, a mixed-race couple appeared on screen. The guy was white, and the girl looked Pakistani or Indian.

Lucy made a face and said something like, "Eww". I was pretty confused and asked what was wrong. She was like, "He could get any WHITE girl he wanted, why did he have to go with her? These kinds of couples are gross. "

So at this point I'm pretty shocked. Since I'm also sort of drunk, I was at a loss for words. I reminded Lucy that I was a quarter Indian myself (my grandmother is Indian). Since she's white, I told her that we were technically in a "mixed-race relationship".

Lucy replied that it didn't matter because I "hardly looked Indian". She then said, "Don't worry, you could pass as Italian or something." I was like, WTF? When was I worried about it??

I told her that I never thought she would be so bigoted. I then excused myself, saying that it was late and that I had class tomorrow. I ignored her texts all day today. I told one of my friends what had happened and he suggested that maybe she was just drunk and not really thinking straight.

I don't know what to think. We live in the UK, a pretty multicultural and diverse place. I've never heard her say such racist remarks before. Granted, I'm from London so I've basically assumed that everybody is accepting and tolerant. I've dated a few non-white women before, which she's never commented on. Lucy's from a smaller city where there are less non-white people, so I suppose she's not exactly that exposed to multiculturalism yet.

However, I've thought a lot about what Lucy's said, and it still bothers me. Should I break up with her? Am I overreacting?

My Take:

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, and operate the first forum dedicated to black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.

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9 responses to "QOTW: White Girlfriend Reacts Negatively Towards Interracial Couple on TV."

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  1.   Eresmia01 says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 16

    If there is racism then it is based in ignorance. So instead of loosing your girlfriend, I suggest you educate her about other cultures(through food,music,art,history,cultural activities). That is the only way to open her mind and heart!

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  2.   sandyking5 says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 16

    Where I come from its automatically accepted that when one is tipsy or drunk whatever speech made out of anger or love should be taken seriously. I know it sounds weird to some but that is how it goes. My advice is keep watching I am sure another scenario will come then you can know where you stand in the relationship. Best of luck

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  3.   Judy-95 says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 16

    Speechless, revealed her true opinion, her dislikes. Whether racist or not, comment was unacceptable. There is an underlying grievance, depending on upbringing, grew up in an environment where you mix with other cultures but you don't form a partnership/relationship. I can see how upsetting it is for you the person you thought you knew.

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  4.   LadyTaurus05 says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 16

    "A drunk man speaks with a sober man's tongue". I used to hear ole heads say that cliche when I was a girl. Christelyn is absolutely right. Your gf is one of those white girls who thinks no man, regardless of his race, shouldn't find women of other races attractive or desirable. If it weren't for your "Italian-looking features" she probably wouldn't give you the time of day. She's a racist . Dump her, and don't look back!

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  5.   NYGriego says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 16

    Dump her...

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  6.   Sayaa says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 16

    Spot on. Listen, when a person is drunk, they let go of their inhibitions. The fact that she said eww and then followed it up with the fact that he could "pass" for Italian tells you all you need to know about her soul. He should stop wasting his time and get with a like minded person.

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    • Blksrfr says:
      Posted: 11 Jul 16

      Hit it one more time if she fine then let your friends hook up with her and move on....

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  7.   Creole_Smile says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 16

    Chrissssss . . . . careful girl. Your slacking on your smooth. Don't let these people get under your skin. You have a reputation of well versed, and gracefully delivered responses.

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