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Why some Black women only date White Men

Posted by James, 17 Jan

We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.

The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.

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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.

Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.

Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.

One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.

With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?

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1842 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"

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  1.   LillyCalla says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 10

    The creepiest thing I remember is the art teacher actually following me to my house and crawling on the ground in my backyard, I called cops and they acted like I was lying when I told them what happened. Police are very adept at accusing any black man they can find of a crime but when crime actually happens to a black person they act like they don't give a care. My story is long but i just wanted to talk about one of the many things that has happened to me in my life where i found out the reason white people are called devils.

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  2.   LillyCalla says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 10

    Thank you boots and Queens, lets tell some truth! Whites still look down on black people and they still mistreat us in jobs, housing, healthcare, and oh, even the art world! I had a stint in school with my AP art teacher, she had the nerve to tell me that black people are not supposed to be oil painters and then went on to say that art is for white people. All this after she took slides from my portfolio without my permission or my knowledge and gave my work to her favorite white student. That white girl used MY artwork and got a 5 star rating on her phony portfolio using MY slides. The teacher had nerve to say the white student was better than me because black people aren't supposed to be artists. I found all this out on the last day of school when the teacher suddenly decided to blurt it out in the hallway and bragged about stealing from me. I told the teacher that i would report her and she said that she would tell everyone that i was having sex with her. I was a quiet student and never really spoke ,uch to the teacher so i never knew where the hell all of that was coming from. And to this day, the strange and sick things this white lady said makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Yes, I reported this freak to the office, and they did nothing about this fool. Whites are "special" people, they screw everybody over and then they expect everybody to love them and respect them for it. My point is, white men are not chasing black women and white people in general have no respect for black people and they inject their white supremacist racism into all aspects of our lives to try to tear down the black race. Don't praise white men, they sure ain't praising us!

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  3.   boots says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 10

    And a wuderbar to u 2 tatted...To glasswing... pleez !pleez !tell us what these core values are that u and your wbf share.The antropological bs u can leave out.these core values did they include a genuine concern for the welfare of the blk race with equal treatment in ,employment education, housing,lending,prison sentences etc etc.And when did your wbf suddenly get those core values that u speak of...I wonder if he got them when he met a fine blk body that he wanted.You certainly r an indiviual,and not part of one big identity and we as blk people dont all think the same.But one thing is 4 sure we were all treated as slaves and or 2nd class citizens in this sweet old USA. My point that I will continue to stress on this blog and others...is the fact that we still are viewed as inferior by whites.White men were pleased to disregard the black woman's inferiorty and near animal status,so that his fleshly desires could be satisfied.White men have been such hypocrites in the past when dealing with blk women why would u expect anything else today..and no! no! no!... to all you dear people who insist on thinking all this stuff is in the past....let us all check out what the transfer of white wealth in this country has meant and it's ramifications

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  4.   Member says:
    Posted: 31 Jan 10

    Dear Glasswing Why are you offended that you are a sellout. You sold out your race. You won't go back to the black community unless you "have too". You only go back when the white guy dumps you. Most of the time you won't even admit you have been in several relationships with white guys and it didn't work out. But you steady defend white guys and got no ring on your finger. You need to wake up. They sure are not defending you at all. NO many WHITE AMERICANS think all blacks think the same. That is why they ask you about your hair and how you speak. They say things like "my black woman is articulate and clean". Just like on my blog, the white guy called his black wife with a master's degree a "ghetto hoodrat". The turn around and defend him for that statement. Now that is disturbing and irrational. Sellout is not ambiguous at all. It gets straight to the point. Stop lecturing black men about taking care of their children. How about tell black women stop being loose so men don't have to question if they are the father of the child! That goes for all men. White men question if a child belongs to them. Don't run to men accusing them of being the father and we saw you with like 3 or 4 men around town. You better be DAMN CERTAIN we are the fathers of your wayward children. Man look for that "A send a sellout black girl postcards from PARADISE". I told people 2010 I am not being nice to these sellout black women anymore. Tired of them blaming men for their problems!

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  5.   Member says:
    Posted: 31 Jan 10

    I love dating outside of my race especially Caucasian men . I love the exposure to core values that are similar to my own and I love the anthropological differences. I don’t feel betrayed when a black man dates a non-black woman. Why? I’ll tell you why, because I have better things to do with my passion. Black or not, a stranger is a stranger and should not be given the right to validate another stranger’s choices. Many African Americans make the mistake of assuming all blacks think the same. We are not one big identity. I am an individual and resent some stranger, of African descent like myself or otherwise, thinking they have a right to be offended that I am not with a black man. That is completely irrational and disturbing. Using the expression “sell out” is offensive, ambiguous and speaks to the level of disturbed thinking,lack of education and dysfunctional coping and social skills. If your father abandoned you as a child AA man, the best thing you can do is to not do it to your offspring and make their mother an honest woman prior to procreating, stop worrying about black women with white men, move forward and leave the past in the past and use it only to know what not to do as opposed to self oppression in the masses and stop accusing someone who wants to be an individual of “selling out.”

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  6.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    I love dating outside of my race especially Caucasian men . I love the exposure to core values that are similar to my own and I love the anthropological differences. I don't feel betrayed when a black man dates a non-black woman. Why? I'll tell you why, because I have better things to do with my passion. Black or not, a stranger is a stranger and should not be given the right to validate another stranger's choices. Many African Americans make the mistake of assuming all blacks think the same. We are not one big identity. I am an individual and resent some stranger, of African descent like myself or otherwise, thinking they have a right to be offended that I am not with a black man. That is completely irrational and disturbing. Using the expression "sell out" is offensive, ambiguous and speaks to the level of disturbed thinking,lack of education and dysfunctional coping and social skills. If your father abandoned you as a child AA man, the best thing you can do is to not do it to your offspring and make their mother an honest woman prior to procreating, stop worrying about black women with white men, move forward and leave the past in the past and use it only to know what not to do as opposed to self oppression in the masses and stop accusing someone who wants to be an individual of "selling out."

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  7.   Member says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 10

    why are people bashing people for what colour partner they are dating? we are trying to develop our society to a point where colour is irrelevant in whichever context we are talking. im white and my girl is black and i get looks and comments from haters. but when i got that big ol' booty boom booming around the bedroom, them haters are the last thingson my mind, lol, f*** yaull hatin.

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  8.   Edward, says:
    Posted: 08 Jan 10

    I mean is american thinking so screwed up that people and couples are terrified to show affection to thier wives and or love them like God Cmmmanded you to when you took the Oath of marriege, or does alot of america simply not giva a darn? I mean sheesh Id take a woman to see things and do things away from the house, sit next to her in a cafe or restaraunt(only us and no one else around to bother us, or try to take attention away from her and me,)Id touch her on the lips kiss her slowly, and feed her food slowly and look at her eyes and just touch and love on her, blow slowly in her ear, not be in a hurry for anything or to go anywhere, and say to other's im busy with my honey right now ok and call her by her name and not say just the wife like he was ashamed of intimidated to show love to her in front of others, To heck with other cold people in public places if you cant show Love and affection to your wife and then act like shes the 1st thing you think about in the morning, than the peopole like this dont deserve a nice wife that cares and wants to be with them, I think about making love to a black woman and romamncing her all the time in all sorts of places, i tried this with caucasian friends in the past and thier too intimidated to act normal or are terified to be themselves to a person that cares about them so i said to heck with it, for get this junk,I dont need the emotional pain of a person that dont return love to you when you do it first, Im not gonnaput up with the junk of others being intimidated by my if im with a black lady or think it wouldnt work out in her family cause thier too terrified to admid thier a different color or in truth are terrified out of thier mind that shes not a white lady like the blind ignorant father would think, like in the movie look who's comming to dinner I mean no one has a problem or anything except the father ,,, spencer tracy out of his biggotry and blind and selfish thinking,

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  9.   Edward, says:
    Posted: 08 Jan 10

    I see alot of white guys that act like being married to thier wife is nothing and they hardly, or dont know how to give her affection, Like thier intimidated by the stupid crowd or older creonies that thats not right in front of them, small town insecure thinking, On the other hand i see something in a black woman thats sinsere and personable and maybe needs to talk about things and really deep down cares for a person if they will just give her a chance, I mean whats wrong with these guys anyway? are they so intimidated by others or is it a stupid macho thing out of total insecurity that thay have to be so called in control of things or act like it, and act like being married to an attractive loving woman is nothing and they call her the wife in front of thier little friend;s like thier so terrified to sact like they love her but then they dont know how to, and are terrified to admit it so they act totally insecure or dont show her affection or talk about her like thier in love with her and cant wait to be with her, I mean I feel like decking them or nailing them to the wall when i see this, I see a love and a genuiness in black woman that i hardly ever see in white ones i mean why is this, and why are caucasian woman so into themselves or act cold to me and then when i want to get to know them they are terrified and run off, to thier hubby that dont treat thenm loving anyway and make love to them and take them on a vacation and away from the kids, I mean im standing here seeing this junk go on ansd its like poeplemare asleep or they just are so selfish and into the stupid casual acting thing that they are like mindless robots with no inside, I mean id give a lady anything she wants and take her places and do things for her and nothing, , I see them go for a nobody thats more into his little insecure friends than loving on his attractive trying to get affection wife, this is total Bull crap and i know theres alot of people that agree wit6h me on this, and see this junk and then want to knock people in the head for not paying attention,

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  10.   Edward, says:
    Posted: 08 Jan 10

    I see alot of white guys that act like being married to thier wife is nothing and they hardly, or dont know how to give her affection, Like thier intimidated by the stupid crowd or older creonies that thats not right in front of them, small town insecure thinking, On the other hand i see something in a black woman thats sinsere and personable and maybe needs to talk about things and really deep down cares for a person if they will just give her a chance, I mean whats wrong with these guys anyway? are they so intimidated by others or is it a stupid macho thing out of total insecurity that thay have to be so called in control of things or act like it, and act like being married to an attractive loving woman is nothing and they call her the wife in front of thier little friend;s like thier so terrified to sact like they love her but then they dont know how to, and are terrified to admit it so they act totally insecure or dont show her affection or talk about her like thier in love with her and cant wait to be with her, I mean I feel like decking them or nailing them to the wall when i see this, I see a love and a genuiness in black woman that i hardly ever see in white ones i mean why is this, and why are caucasian woman so into themselves or act cold to me and then when i want to get to know them they are terrified and run off, to thier hubby that dont treat thenm loving anyway and make love to them and take them on a vacation and away from the kids, I mean im standing here seeing this junk go on ansd its like poeplemare asleep or they just are so selfish and into the stupid casual acting thing that they are like mindless robots with no inside, I mean id give a lady anything she wants and take her places and do things for her and nothing, , I see them go for a nobody thats more into his little insecure friends than loving on his attractive trying to get affection wife, this is total Bull crap and i know theres alot of people that agree wit6h me on this, and see this junk and then want to knock people in the head for not paying attention, I feel like knocking thier heads off when i see this,

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  11.   mimi says:
    Posted: 07 Jan 10

    I just prefer white men. It's attractive, i grew up in a diverse area, like different cultures and the idea of merging that with my own. I have a lot in commen with the white men i have dated.

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  12.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 10

    HI there, Meisha... ....lol....always glad to "infotain"...LOL ...but trust me.....what goes on between Queens and myself is NOT true debate. The issues he has are obviously personal and of his own making. I have never really disagreed with him (when he stays on topic) but I don't take to kindly to watching the various blog threads being hijacked and derailed by his focus on me. So occasionally I have to step in here and remind him with whom he is "phucking"...lol. Keep tuning in though....I think 2010 WILL be long.....hopefully long enough for some of us to WAKE UP. ("spidey" senses tingly over imagined anger does NOT count...LOL).

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  13.   meisha81 says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 10

    Good Morning & Happy New Years to Everyone! I just wanted to say that I really enjoy reading everyone's post & learning something new each day from every individual. I however really enjoy the back & forth debates between Ms. Tatted & Mr. Laurelton. Your posts are equally thought provoking but at the same time hilarious like a brother & sister duo. Keep it going! :) Many Blessings to all & Have a wonderful 2010! Meisha81

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  14.   Member says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 10

    LOL I sense anger. Looks like 2010 will be a long year.

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  15.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 10

    ...yeah as opposed to "beating them down" and "spanking their asses"......but wait a minute aren't those YOUR tried and true methods, Daffy??? LMAO Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  16.   Member says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 10

    Dear Boots Thanks for your comments. It is just my opinion. Black women tend to be sensitive when criticized that is why so many white men really shy away from telling them the truth. They will crucify the white guy if he dared say something negative about black women. The cardinal rule for white men. Keep your mouth shut and be nice and black women will drop their panties for you. It is really no secret.

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  17.   Member says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 10

    HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE. Hopefully it will not be another desperate for sellout black women. 2010 is my year get used to it.

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  18.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 10

    WUNDERBAR, FANTASTICO, and FUNDERFUL for you, boots....(LMAO) HAPPY NEW YEAR, good people!!! Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  19.   boots says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 09

    I've been reading comments on this blog 4 sometime now.. I have not made a reply...since Iam a new commer I will listen 4 now....but I would say up front I agree with Mr Laurelton on most of these issues

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  20.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 23 Dec 09

    Me thinks Stephanie is smart enough to know what's to know.....seeing as how she stated it this way, "Every Black guy I have dated...." instead of "Every Black guy in the WORLD" or "in the U.S."....or....well you get the point.... Oye Trinity!!!....Thanks for the "nod"....lol I noticed you were a newcomer (you are very much welcomed here, by the way....LOL...for give my manners...lol) yet I could tell right off the bat that you are intelligent, knowledgable AND educated (we all know they don't ALWAYS go together..LOL) so I took for granted you knew what's what around here. Sharp minds think alike....(forgive me for tooting mine own horn there..LOL). Anyhow, I am just glad that I have in someway inspired you to stand your ground here and hope this phenomenon continues.... Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  21.   Teesa says:
    Posted: 22 Dec 09

    That is very true Julius. Thanks!

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  22.   julius26 says:
    Posted: 22 Dec 09

    Dear tessa and stephanie all the best in your relationships, but always remember quality does not have a race

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  23.   Teesa says:
    Posted: 21 Dec 09

    Well Stephanie, I hope you know that you are beautiful regardless of any guy's hurtful comments. I too have been treated badly by black men but know all black men aren't bad. I am in a relationship with a white man now. We have been together for two years and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I hope you find what I have Stephanie and remember you are a beautiful black girl. :)

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  24.   Stephanie says:
    Posted: 20 Dec 09

    I'm a black girl and I'm only attracted to white men. Partially because I leave in a white neighborhood and I attend a school that has 10% black. Every black guy I've dated has treated me with great disrespect and leave me wounded. They tend to cheat, lie, and have the biggest egos on the planet. And then they tell me that white girls are prettier because of their hair..

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  25.   Trinity says:
    Posted: 14 Dec 09

    Hey Tatted2death! Girl, I'm just trying to follow your lead. LOL I actually didn't even get all of the various references to people since I'm so new here, but it did seem like he wasn't so much responding to what I said as repeating what he'd been arguing for months with other posters. It's funny how my (our...LOL) point of view inspires so much negativity.

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  26.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 13 Dec 09

    Trinity you are a GODDESS amongst insects!!!.....I am glad you have carried the torch in my absence.....LOL. Seriously though.....Your last post (and every one before it...lol) was immaculate. Not to sound weird or anything, but it was almost like we were sharing the same brain for a moment...lol. As you can see this character still likes to throw my name in the mix: "It is like going shopping and you are like the last raggedy child in the family and everybody gives you “hand me downs”. Yea you got clothes but they gave you “hand me downs”. So, stop saying these statements to black women on this board. Tattoo this on my forehead made the same weak argument to me" Umm, I never argued any such thing with this individual. He is just riding along on the same delusional highway he has been on for months now because he has labeled me an "intelligent" women (as he has with you.......proceed with caution...LOL) and can't "handle" me except to make false accusations and feeble sexual innuendos. In fact, the way that he has to point out that we are "intelligent" (as if we are some sort of anomaly....lol) speaks volumes. The fact that he even bothered to respond to AFRICA, speaks volumes. This character tells on himself at every turn.....as you, no doubt, have already observed. He is a "legend" that has you use my notoriety to remain relavent.....ending his posts in this manner: "TATTOO THAT ON YOUR FOREHEAD"... ..the hits just keep on coming.....2010 is just going to be more of the same nonsense for some. Good Luck to ALL Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  27.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Bring it on okay. My boyfriend who is Black is laughing and says that you guys are skanks...Haters...

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  28.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    My BFF's are so loving this site and thank you for correcting my spelling...My workout is more important than that. Don't hate on me, because you can't afford my life style. Awww the one thing I love is that I can go and get a Coach, LV, Juicy, and ect...matter of fact I have over 50 designer bags and I travel alot... Matter of fact...Las Vegas is nothing if your not hanging out the coolest people. HATERS...I didn't respond earlier because I was getting my sleep and then my 2 mile run. Yes I have the body and the boobs. HATERS...

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  29.   Trinity says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Hmmm, I think we're getting somewhere in this dialogue LQ. So, starting from the premise that you and I want to see the same outcome (Black women in healthy relationships with good men), let's see if I can further clarify my point of view by addressing your key points: "the desperation “doctrine” is not working. If you were a realist you would tell black women stop subjecting themselves to being picked last." I'm not familiar with the desperation doctrine, and doubt that I am espousing it, so you'll have to define the term. You seem to be focusing on a narrow group of black women you perceive are chasing after white men. From what you are saying, these women are physically unattractive and attempting to land men who might be out of their price range, so to speak. First of all, most people are average (hence the term), not attractive or unattractive. Most white men do not look like Brad Pitt. Most white men are not rich or highly educated. So I see no reason why the average black woman couldn't consider a pool of average men. Water finds its own level when it comes to partnering up. Highly attractive people tend to want to be with highly attractive mates, and if they aren't, that less than attractive mate is making up for it somehow. So your pairing up of Nell Carter and Brad Pitt is silly. Brad Pitt did date Robin Givens, however, likely because she is a highly attractive, interesting and intelligent woman. No woman or man should subject themselves to being "picked last." It's not necessary. Just as there are black men who will not date black women because they are too dark/light/tall/short etc, there are white men who feel the same way. There are men who love large women out there. Plus, large women can lose weight and have more options. If nothing else, Americans get fatter by the year so there are plenty of large men out there looking for a match with a large woman. There's no need to act like the average man is better looking than the average woman. Everyone has to play their positions and realize the value of what they bring to the table. "More like black women need to stop “pan handling” for a white man. You are assuming black women “do not seek out these relationships’. It all falls on the man to provide that. Now if you go to E Harmony and you hardly get any responses from men. Are you going to blame the women for that?" Women don't need to seek men out. Those that do are going above and beyond what's necessary. I don't assume that EVERY black woman who is open to dating men from different backgrounds is "pan handling," as you seem to do. I also don't assume that black women aren't "pan handling" when they seek out black men or want one so badly they'll put up with BS. To me it is not necessary. There's always another man out there, no need to be desperate. It takes all kinds. I get the sense that you perceive white men as some sort of pristine group, as if they do not have children, physical flaws, money problems or emotional issues. Perhaps a young white man without children would restrict himself to dating women without children whereas another would not. Perhaps a tall women wouldn't date a short man. On and on and on. So what? Like I said before, do you need an army of men running up behind you, or a good one who wants you? If it's the latter, the odds are in your favor with about a billion men out there to choose from. "So you blame the victim for attracting a man that uses and abuses her. Perhaps, an average black woman can just be with an average man. Ever thought about that. Na, because you are a narcissist. Thus, why men call smell desperation in black women so fast. You won’t be pretty forever." Ultimately, people treat you the way that you let them. Abusers are like predators, so I don't entirely "blame the victim" but I do believe that a person has to decide that they are worth nothing before anyone can treat them like nothing. As for the rest of that...LOL. Do you know what the definition of narcissism is? "The only choices a common prostitute can do is lie to the man about her past. The only thing Precious can do is get gastric bypass surgery and pray a white man looks at her." Again, I don't place half the species above the other. Since many men seek out prostitutes and even fall in love with them along the way, I'd say a common prostitute's got a better shot than one might expect. Oo Precious, perhaps an obese white man won't be so picky about weight. I think it's funny that you keep talking about this generic "white man" as if he is God's gift yet accuse "sell out black women" of having that mentality? Why not take people on a case by case basis?

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  30.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Dear Trinty You said this.......... "Umm, it really is about that, unless you want more than one. If given a choice I’d rather see Black women married to good men and/or in healthy, stable relationships rather than seeing them objectified in the media. Nevertheless, I am a realist. The objectification comes with the territory in a patriarchy, so as more Black women exercise their right to date and marry anyone they choose, they will become more and more objectified as “arm candy.” I agree with your statement and I want the same for black women but the desperation "doctrine" is not working. If you were a realist you would tell black women stop subjecting themselves to being picked last. It is not about black women desiring men, it is about what men desire them. "I suspect it won't be the last time you misunderstand my perspective but let's try and dig into this anyway: If Black women seek out relationships with men who offer love, respect, support and security and give as good as they get,they'd have relationships that women around the world want for themselves. "Hand me downs" is a ridiculous term to use for such relationships. It seems to me this sort of relationship is exactly what many women, Black and otherwise, continue to settle for until they realize their own worth." Let me rephrase the "hand me down statement". More like black women need to stop "pan handling" for a white man. You are assuming black women "do not seek out these relationships'. It all falls on the man to provide that. Now if you go to E Harmony and you hardly get any responses from men. Are you going to blame the women for that? "I suspect that your real problem is that Black women who refuse to settle wouldn't be waiting around for a pat on the head by Black men. I understand, when men are insecure (people, really) they feel the need to dominate something in order to feel better about their inadequacies. You want to come home from a day of feeling inferior and instantly feel better knowing that your wife/girlfriend and perhaps children are submissive to you. Maybe yell and smack them around a little bit too. This isn't special, but typical of men around the world. I don't make it a racial issue because it isn't about race." My problem is not black women who 'settle". The question is should white men settle. If you have a child by different black men, do you expect a white man to take on that baggage? The problem is many sellout black women are delusional. They look like "Nell Carter" but want Brad Pitt! "If being perfect was a requirement for receiving love them we'd all go without. One simply has to be in the right state of mind to receive the love that I am talking about. It's doubtful that a woman who is letting herself be abused or engaging in self-destructive behavior can have the type of relationship I'm talking about because these women would attract men who reflect their poor self-image and who assist them in making poor choices." So you blame the victim for attracting a man that uses and abuses her. Perhaps, an average black woman can just be with an average man. Ever thought about that. Na, because you are a narcissist. Thus, why men call smell desperation in black women so fast. You won't be pretty forever. "A common prostitute can make different choices and attract the right people into her life. An obese woman can stop self-medicating with food and get healthy. The fictitious Precious can move past her abuse and realize that she is a human being deserving of love and a sense of well-being. The key is changing their mentality. In some cases it isn't easy, but the natural state of humanity is not despair and pain." The only choices a common prostitute can do is lie to the man about her past. The only thing Precious can do is get gastric bypass surgery and pray a white man looks at her. The 4 devils for black women are love, envy, jealousy and hate. Once they overcome that. They might get a good man. Good day.

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  31.   Trinity says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Ah, Mr. LQ. I love the smell of vitriol in the morning. "See this is the pathetic excuse sellout black women use to make themselves feel good. All I need is “one man”. It is not about if you can get a man. It is about being picked last compared to other races of women." Umm, it really is about that, unless you want more than one. If given a choice I'd rather see Black women married to good men and/or in healthy, stable relationships rather than seeing them objectified in the media. Nevertheless, I am a realist. The objectification comes with the territory in a patriarchy, so as more Black women exercise their right to date and marry anyone they choose, they will become more and more objectified as "arm candy." "It is like going shopping and you are like the last raggedy child in the family and everybody gives you “hand me downs”. Yea you got clothes but they gave you “hand me downs”. So, stop saying these statements to black women on this board. Tattoo this on my forehead made the same weak argument to me." I suspect it won't be the last time you misunderstand my perspective but let's try and dig into this anyway: If Black women seek out relationships with men who offer love, respect, support and security and give as good as they get,they'd have relationships that women around the world want for themselves. "Hand me downs" is a ridiculous term to use for such relationships. It seems to me this sort of relationship is exactly what many women, Black and otherwise, continue to settle for until they realize their own worth. "Essentially saying, I am just happy to he here. Just happy to get a pat on the head by white men." I suspect that your real problem is that Black women who refuse to settle wouldn't be waiting around for a pat on the head by Black men. I understand, when men are insecure (people, really) they feel the need to dominate something in order to feel better about their inadequacies. You want to come home from a day of feeling inferior and instantly feel better knowing that your wife/girlfriend and perhaps children are submissive to you. Maybe yell and smack them around a little bit too. This isn't special, but typical of men around the world. I don't make it a racial issue because it isn't about race. "Trinity, again, you fail to realize one thing, not ALL WOMEN are deserving of a good man. The common prostitute does not deserve a good man. The obese girl that can’t control herself does not deserve a good man. Not EVERY WOMAN deserves a good man. That is just politically correct bull crap. Next thing you are going to tell me is “Precious” deserves a good man. No white man would touch Precious. If they did, then I would be WORRIED." If being perfect was a requirement for receiving love them we'd all go without. One simply has to be in the right state of mind to receive the love that I am talking about. It's doubtful that a woman who is letting herself be abused or engaging in self-destructive behavior can have the type of relationship I'm talking about because these women would attract men who reflect their poor self-image and who assist them in making poor choices. A common prostitute can make different choices and attract the right people into her life. An obese woman can stop self-medicating with food and get healthy. The fictitious Precious can move past her abuse and realize that she is a human being deserving of love and a sense of well-being. The key is changing their mentality. In some cases it isn't easy, but the natural state of humanity is not despair and pain.

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  32.   Trinity says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Hey Swtgurl190 - You're very welcome. This is an interesting blog so I was happy to run across it as well.

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  33.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    From now on, Anytime a sellout black women says "her white man gets paid well". I am going to tell her you are pulling a "Tiger Woods" now huh? These "Tiger Woods" hos make me sick! I address this on my blog. If Tiger was banging black women they would have never snitched on his ass. The white women straight ran to the media talking about "he used me". When did Tiger Woods 'use you" after you fucked the other athletes??? Seems like Tiger Woods was standing in line to spank you. But he somehow used you. Trinity, again, you fail to realize one thing, not ALL WOMEN are deserving of a good man. The common prostitute does not deserve a good man. The obese girl that can't control herself does not deserve a good man. Not EVERY WOMAN deserves a good man. That is just politically correct bull crap. Next thing you are going to tell me is "Precious" deserves a good man. No white man would touch Precious. If they did, then I would be WORRIED. You said this "In my experience it’s quite untrue that Black women with a sub Saharan phenotype are overlooked. Attractive women are noticed and appreciated wherever they go. It’s not my intention to attract every man, or even the average man. I don’t need tens, hundreds or thousands of men to find me attractive, online or in person…just attracting the one I have will do just fine. So I’m not offended if any particular man doesn’t find me attractive. I get enough positive feedback from men from all backgrounds. I look nothing like Halle Berry." See this is the pathetic excuse sellout black women use to make themselves feel good. All I need is "one man". It is not about if you can get a man. It is about being picked last compared to other races of women. It is like going shopping and you are like the last raggedy child in the family and everybody gives you "hand me downs". Yea you got clothes but they gave you "hand me downs". So, stop saying these statements to black women on this board. Tattoo this on my forehead made the same weak argument to me. Essentially saying, I am just happy to he here. Just happy to get a pat on the head by white men. You should demand more than that! Be glad you were able to speak to me. Sometimes, I feel you women are beneath me.

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  34.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Dear Africa I think you meant nordstrom. (Clothing store). Great, your man has an illiterate black woman. Now, I am jealous. Good day. I released the "Tiger Woods Story" The Prequel off the Man on Fire Blog. I will address everyone later. Especially Trinity, I like debating intelligent women. You all have a nice day. http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/

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  35.   Swtgurl190 says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Trinity I'm glad you ran across this blog and felt like sharing. I understand completely where you're coming from and I appreciate the message. I love intelligent, strong women, no matter what color skin they may have!

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  36.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    I feel so sad for you people... the thought of me buying 4 bra's at Victoria Secret is just not right...I should like donate to the less unfortunate. I remember when I was a kid and I told my boyfriend this story too, anyway we would go to Africa twice a year and my nanny would be with me. Anyway my dad would donate lots of books and I remember once that this kid who had never seen a notepad...he was like wanting my notepad. Okay so I gave it to him...What I'm saying is that this kid was so happy just to play in the mud, but the notepad...he held on to it like it was gold...He is now in Med School and next year he is coming to the United States to open up a clinic. My dad had it built for him. This just makes me cry...Africans are different from Black people. They show emotions and are not afraid to cry...Please stop being mean to each other. I held a baby with aids in my arms and he died the next day. He was only 6 months old. Kids in Africa need books...maybe you could send some and stop all this hate...

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  37.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Africa: Give me a call at 1-800-2good4u We'll make arrangements. ha

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  38.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Oh my god you are so cute and your words are so awesome... I'm ready to learn the whole Obama thing or black thing. I will pay you...

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  39.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    "I only date my boyfriend because he is Black…he has been paid well…" Elin? Is that you? I don't think Tiger would be very happy with this....rofl How can I get a hold of Inside Edition for this? I need some money too. lol *Big time Homer face palm moment*

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  40.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    You guys are mean...My friends and I tried to held you out of poverty. I only date my boyfriend because he is Black...he has been paid well...Like I'm not taking him for a ride. He has the house key and he can go swimming in the pool at anytime. What did I do? You guys hate me and all I have ever tried to do is help you people. Now I need to go shopping online...this has really upset me!

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  41.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    My boyfriend is hot with a six pack to die for...thanks for honest Mr guy...Norstroms is having a sale....Yea!!!!!

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  42.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    I'm not getting involved in your petty high school shit. lol You sound like my nephew who bugs the hell outta me....shew away.

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  43.   Trinity says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Mr. LQ: You're barking up the wrong tree, trying to get a reaction out of me. What I wrote is extremely clear. Whatever you are projecting onto me with your question is not my problem. As such, I do not know what is wrong with a majority Black neighborhood but I simply do not reside in one (I'm in the wrong part of the country for that). I'll selectively respond to some of what you wrote but forgive me for ignoring the more ludicrous arguments and statements: "It takes more than a fancy job and education to have a good man. That is why so many sellout black women fail. They never point the finger at themselves for relationships failing." Anyone without the self-analysis and honesty to look at the mistakes they've made in a relationship is missing the point. The common denominator in a string is relationships is YOU. It's always best to start there. Having said that, the global problems of misogyny and sexism make it more than likely that women deal with a particular set of challenges when it comes to most men. I think your approach to romantic relationships, from what I've read, could be problematic for women seeking parity in a relationship with a man (as opposed to domination or submission on either side). "Black women end up in bad situation because of THEIR bad choices." Yes, as do all adults. They are also responsible for making better choices, and an important choice of a responsible woman looking to share her life with someone is to choose a good partner. What is your point beyond this somewhat obvious statement? "The emasculated white man is to busy trying to kiss your ashy toes instead of stating the truth. AZ has been one of the few white guys that tells the truth. He simply says he doesn’t want to be a second option to black women or “an emergency man” when you can’t find a good black man like myself." It's hard to type a response to this, I crack up in the midst of typing. I'd say to AZ not to worry about serving as an "emergency man" to a Black woman with issues, but to focus on finding the woman he wants, be she Black or otherwise. I'm not looking for a good Black man as I have found my guy. I'm sure there are plenty out there though, should the need arise, but I don't limit myself to a particular phenotype. I know quite a few good Black men. None of them spend their time disparaging Black women so you'll have to forgive me if I'm hesitant to place you in the exalted company of the good Black men I know based on your posts. "You mention you are on responsible for yourself. But you look a white man bailout stimulus package on E Harmon and all these other websites. White men just overlook your profile and don’t even have you in their favorite folder unless you are biracial and damn near look like Halle Berry." In my experience it's quite untrue that Black women with a sub Saharan phenotype are overlooked. Attractive women are noticed and appreciated wherever they go. It's not my intention to attract every man, or even the average man. I don't need tens, hundreds or thousands of men to find me attractive, online or in person...just attracting the one I have will do just fine. So I'm not offended if any particular man doesn't find me attractive. I get enough positive feedback from men from all backgrounds. I look nothing like Halle Berry. Black women, I mean African American women, should understand that men are men. If you are an attractive women, men will notice. Our species isn't designed to do anything else (at least for heterosexual people). Yes, racism comes into play for many people but how many racists have crossed a color line? Plenty. This is a numbers game. In the states there are many more White men than Black women. If 10% of White men dated Black women that would be just about enough for every Black woman to have one, maybe two to choose from. 90% of White men could run screaming at the though of dating Black women and IT WOULDN'T MATTER. Bring in the Latinos (many of which are sub Saharan anyway), Asian Americans, Native Americans and the opinions of a "majority" of any group are immaterial. Expand to the Europeans, Africans, Latinos and Asians and the whole world opens up. No attractive heterosexual woman needs to worry about finding a man who will love her and accept her as she is. If every Black woman accepted the fact that her options for a mate are wide open, we'd be much better off. I saved this little gem to respond to last: "This is the problem with you sellout black women. You try to put yourselves on a pedestal above ‘other classes of women”." I'm amused at this feeble attempt to "take me down a peg." What men like you throughout the ages know deep down, and you fear the most, is a woman who knows her own power. It's why you spend so much time and energy trying to beat women into submission, mentally, physically or both. Ironically, women who walk on dirt roads in rags with bare feet can and do know their worth, and women in head to toe couture with Ivy league degrees do not. This is not about wealth, class or race but it is about education. When women learn that they do not have to accept BS from men, when they know that they are the architects of their own lives and destinies, that no degenerate's words or deeds can keep them down for long, they are powerful. Powerful women choose from the cream of the crop among men and leave the rest to someone else. I look at my guy - strong, honorable, attractive, intelligent and loving - and I wish for every woman to know what it feels like to be loved by a man who is worthy of my love. Like I said, I'm not concerned with what someone else thinks about my relationship. I want as many women as possible to stop dealing with trash, worrying about what trash thinks and does, and focus on improving themselves so that they can be worthy of a good man (or woman).

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  44.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Hey Azrazyel my BFF likes your name. Want to hang out with us and you can just enjoy. My dad has a small plane and we have a pilot. WE LIKE YOU...

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  45.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    This is to the Lauralten Queens guy...I talked to my dad about you and he is willing to give you a job...its not only $4000.00 every two weeks. You would be my driver and you can drive me and my friends around all the time. We might even give you a lap dance for free...tips on us and a shot of YAGER...AAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW. Let me know okay...

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  46.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Oh my god...I'm sorry...I really didn't know. I'm at the salon getting a wax and my nails done, my beautician gave me a taste of a new wine and we were laughing and just thought...how silly of me. Sorry

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  47.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Queens is not a black woman. Evidently Africa, you seem to have some visual discrepancies. Check his blog and you will see for yourself.

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  48.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    ^^^Agree 110% with Africa!

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  49.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    Ms. Laurelton Queens. You appear to be a very angry Black woman...if I was a man, oh god I would be terrified of you. Do you get out much? Maybe skiing the slopes. Oh yea my boyfriend is BLACK and my dad just hired him on to the firm. My parents bought us a 2010 Lexus, because they like him. He dropped out of school in the 11th grade and can hussle a dollar. Real women work on being sexy and sweet. Maybe a little role play 4 times a week. He says I'm exciting and this is what Black women lack...letting your hair go and not playing dress up. I fullfil his fantacy's and we have traveled three times this year. I'm in school (full time) whatever... My parents want me to be a PH.D. Thats like the cost of bleaching my hair at $300.00 bucks every two weeks. Really Black guys are HOT and I have video to prove it. Do you really live in a ghetto? How can people live in small places...my bedroom alone is over 1,000 square feet. Can you send me photos of poverty? That could be my Final's paper.

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  50.   Africa says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    People should allow interracial couples to enjoy life and not dog them for being in love. Black women should not focus on the third sentence, but focus on the first statement which states the facts...When it comes to be racist...Black women are among the top. Living in the past and not dealing with the present is what makes you angry. Stop thinking so hard on slaves and rejoice for 2010. We have a Black President...and there are a lot of wealthy Black people in society. We are not here to bow down to you and nobody owes you anything. Value your life for a positive today. Get off the CREAMY CRACK.

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