Why some Black women only date White Men
We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
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1842 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"
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bessie84 says:Posted: 28 Feb 12i so love whiten.coz they know how to treat theire women. wat i feel wen i dat a white man just cant be explained.i simply love them
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Friendly13 says:Posted: 25 Feb 12@nika Yes, nika I am with you too. Black women have a lot more options than what some think. Men of other races think we are beautiful too. We don't have to preserve ourselves for just one brand of man
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Friendly13 says:Posted: 25 Feb 12
@Robby2u Well said. I just wanted to add also that, just because a person marries a person from a different race doesn't necessarily mean that is the only race they considered. It may only mean that that was the race of the person they happened to find love with and marry. I don't think it always means preference. Perhaps it is FATE. We marry a person not a COLOR. I like the song Black or White by Michael Jackson because the words are so try. Says " You can be my baby it don't matter if your black or white".
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Robby2u says:Posted: 11 Feb 12Thank you T2Deth, I have a problem with the way society has presented women and men in general to mating like animals rather than learning how to establish healthy relationships and building healthy families. It should never be about what the two individuals look like but, how they can build a strong enough bond that will stand the test of time. We have too many multicolored races of people to be concearned about wheather or not their backgroung are the same or the color of the skin. And I see so many marriages of the same race end in devorce, so why not try something new? If we see two people happy, just leave them alone and let them be happy. Besides Im not 100% African American myself. SO WHAT TO ALL! WHO CARES! I Love All Women Who Want To Be Love!!!!! No in a running around way but just be your beautifull self.
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BronzeSiren says:Posted: 10 Feb 12I have always loved and admired white men. I can not understand nor explain the reason why I am attracted to them. Maybe they have some unknown swag lol, or it could be their culture. Whatever may be the case, I like and prefer them. I am glad that we are in a era to where we can openly date whomever we want to date. So lets rejoice in the fact that we all are pursuing our preferences and not allowing others attitudes or misgivings influence our search for love. :-)
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T2Deth says:Posted: 09 Feb 12Thank you Robby2U for recognizing that not all women (period) want one type of man. I think regardless of race, it seem that men have had more of an easier time of dating whomever they choose. Sometimes it seems that a man can be dog-ugly and still feel that he can get any woman/gold-digger he wanted. Sometimes it seems like certain women feed this madness by constantly talking about a man's financial-status. All this should cease simply because we are living in a different age. Woman can (and SHOULD) make their own money. Ugly dudes need to stop walking around like their poo don't stank simply because they have a few dollars in the bank. I have even heard sloppy guys talking about "Beyonce is too fat/out-of -shape" for them.....whooo. What it all boils down to is don't expect what you can't yourself give....PERIOD.
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Robby2u says:Posted: 05 Feb 12
I think over the years black women has been reaching out to black men trying to get them to understand that they needed to treated a certain way but only a few responded to the call. I will live and I will die by this that not all black women want a (LIL Wayne) thug. Dont get me wrong my head isnt in the sand. Some women are legit about how they feel and some are about economic status. Over all, lets get pass the color of the skin or how deep the pockets can go.
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Mandingodude says:Posted: 16 Mar 18To me I think self hate propelled onto ones with dame resemblance has to do with it. I will admit that majority of American black women still prefer or run around with the gangster type black guys or from other races. The educated black women seek outside of her race instead of looking at other educated black men. And even after they get with educated black men, they want to run his life like it belongs to them and bring in emotional baggage from past relationships and disdain for their own plus disrespect from all the bad stereotypes forced upon black men....it becomes overwhelming for the educated black men and he turns to Becky the white girl or other races who display less or none of those negative aspects/behaviors.
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rarestgold says:Posted: 04 Feb 12
Dating White men just accidently happend for me. Not that I wasn't attracted to them but, I always thought I'd be married to a Black man, like my dad. But that's not what life had planned for me and I at 22 just went with the flow - my goal was no longer to find a black man who would love me but to find a MAN who would love me - regardless of his color.
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nika23 says:Posted: 12 Feb 12
I agree, I never considered race in dating men and thought it would hav ebeen a black man, but now I opened up my otions and htat includes men of all races. I'm attracted to any attractive man of any race. I have dated black, Hispanic, Asian, Indian and white men. I have had relationships with black, Hispanic (I really consider this black too because their culuture is so similar to mine from Trinidad, same food and everything) and white men. I won't make generalizations and say one is better than the other, but my experience was better with a white guy. I am looking for a man who will treat me with respect and show me real love.
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BabyBear4102 says:Posted: 29 Jan 12When I was a child I always liked white men, whether in reality or on television, much to my mother's dismay. It was not a choice I consciously made, and for a girl that grew up in a poor neighborhood, lets say I didn't get to date much. As I got older my preference did not change. I have dated black men and spanish men but my preference for white men remains. Once I began to realize that what I like is just... what I like, I did not mind the jeers from my family and friends so much. Now I'm wishing on a star that my Prince Charming finds me :)
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Arianna208 says:Posted: 22 Jan 12As a woman of mixed heritage i can say men of my race spanish, east indian , black never attracted me . Ive always craved the touch of a white guy. Although ive dated white and black men,i married a black man and it ended badly as i was never emotional fulfilled or sexual satisfied. I am now in a relationship with a white person and its the happiest i have ever been. The passion , emotional fulfilment and eroticism is beyond anything i could have imagined . So yes for me i will never date a man unless he is white, i tried what society expected me to do ie. Date and marry a man of color against what i always felt was not for me and if i had to do it over again i would date exclusively white.
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jdooley84 says:Posted: 22 Jan 12
I love white women simply because of the culture i like classic rock most of my albums are the beatles the rolling stones led zepplin the eagles and elvis and michael jackson and so much more i like science fiction and old movies and baseball cards and video games you wont see me interested into tyler perry or anyting similar and i basically was raised in a middle class white town that considering a town of like 20 000 that was like 90 pct white was relatively friendly espically my neighborhood which was white and some lebanese. I grew up with a mom and a dad my high school there were 2 black girls and both went to junior prom with white men and i also am more of a white liberal i dont go to church im pro choice and if i was raised in the 60s i would not have served in the vietnam war i never spend more than 50 bucks for a pair of shoes and i belive in investing money not just gambling and spending it i never been to prison or even got a parking ticket and i have higher than a high school education i would rather raise my kids towards responsibility and education rather than discipline and control but i would never have a problem with a black woman with a non black i dont really care but i think in europe interracial couples are more common than in us espically england 50 pct of British born married black males have white wifes and 24 pct of british born married black females have white husbands i really love those free spirited republican bashing music loving hippie blondes .My message to black american women if you really want a white guy my advice get one from Europe.
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Mtase says:Posted: 10 Jan 12
I only date white man and preferable older coz they matured. People think that we only date white old guys for their money, well I have a profession and most of the time I earn more than my partner. Its a choice.
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Honssolo says:Posted: 02 Jan 12
Interesting subject. I wonder if black men white woman couples share the same perspective? Or are black women white male couples an entirely different phenom?
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taylor529 says:Posted: 02 Jan 12
I always knew that white man is a preference for me.Even as a kid growing up.I married into a white family,it did not work,but I will never give up on love and the type of white man I want to spend my life with.
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Mimo200 says:Posted: 27 Dec 11I only like white men. I believe its a preference...:)
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Kapristar says:Posted: 22 Dec 11I absolutely love white men and I know my husband will be white. You have your own choice, you should always try new things... you live only once. <3
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JDigriz says:Posted: 21 Dec 11
To borrow, or rather shamelessly steal what socialbeing said. I prefer Black Women! I feel no hesitation saying that, on the internet or in real life. I don't feel embarassed or awkward at all about feeling that way and niether should you.
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Afrosilk says:Posted: 13 Mar 12
I have been called a racist for preferring white men to Black men, now I have reservations declaring which race I prefer. Its tricky!!!!!!
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Root58 says:Posted: 04 Dec 11If you are going to do something, do it well! That includes the English language! I hate it when black men tell me that I sound and/or act like a white person. Well, how else am I suppose to act? Like some ignorant uneducated jackass?! Yeah, right! That will should show everyone how black I am! Some black Americans need to face reality and realize that the greater majority of black Americans really don't have a culture because most black Americans really don't have a history. Black American culture is intermingled with European culture. Especially, Europeans of English, Spanish, and French descent. Ever since Africans came to America, most black people have been using white American culture and making it their own. So I do not know why some black folks wants to accuse other black people of sounding and/or act white. What?! Do those same ignorant black folks think that the English language came from Africa? I can't stand an ignorant man. I don't care what color he is! I was at the supermarket a couple of days ago, minding my own business and leaving everybody else's business alone, when these two jackasses from hell walked passed me, and one of the so-n-so put his nasty hands on my behind, the lesser of the two evil, whose behind was bigger than mine's, walked away, acting like he didn't see what happened because of what his boy did. After awhile, I realize that those two were not only jackasses, but nasty freaks as well. Because of where the first creeps hands was on my behind and the reason why he did what he did because they were trying to antagonize me so that they feel justified with their choice lifestyle. I mean, is that what I am suppose to put up with because I'm black and they are black too?! Because what those two creeps did was so unnecessary. Why use me as a pun for their sick little joke is beyond me. Because I did not even know those ignorant jackasses.
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sugar38 says:Posted: 03 Feb 12
Love it!!! Roots58 you took the words right out of my mouth. I love white men for many reasons and I feel not hesitation saying that at all. I don't understand for the life of me why when a black person speaks proper , they are told by other blacks that they act as if only white people are educated or only white people speaks proper.
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reese says:Posted: 19 Feb 12
America culture is also enriched by our culture as well. We created almost every form of American music and the way they talk is also influence by us. We have contributed all around to American culture.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 24 Jul 21I'm so sorry about the boorishness that happened to you, (((HUGS))). Something tells me that the father(s) of those little rogues weren't around to whip their BUTTS to keep them in line and to teach them to keep their hands to themselves. Notice that I emphasized "butts" with regard to where the punishment should be delivered. My Dad wouldn't have tolerated my brothers conducting themselves like those individuals. I don't think they'd appreciate someone goosing and/or putting down their mothers, heads would roll if it did. I've been taunted about "talking" and "acting white". That's asinine! What's next, conducting oneself as the intelligent human beings that God created us as constitutes "acting white"? People are strange.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 01 Nov 21
I suspect that the fathers of those individuals weren't around to discipline them to keep them from becoming the maggots they are today. I doubt seriously if they'd appreciate someone groping, fondling, otherwise inappropriately touching their mothers as they did to you.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 20 Aug 23
I suspect that the fathers of those individuals who goosed you wasn't around to teach them to never to hit girls when they were children and to never disrespect women when they got older. They learned it from the hoodrats they hang out with. If my Dad were still alive, he wouldn't tolerate my brothers being like the boors you encountered at the store. A poster or two wrote about some BM's having the mindset that it's their prerogative to be uncivilized, crude and sexually entitled to BW. Likewise, it's our prerogative as BW to avoid them like the plague and seek out men who'll treat us like ladies/queens even if it means getting involved with WM who will. I too, have been accused of "talking/acting white", but I simply pay no attention to those who say that. If they want to ascribe inferiority to themselves, who am I to stand in their way?
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socialbeing says:Posted: 04 Dec 11
This seems like a safe place for me to make this declaration: I prefer white men! I feel some hesitation in saying that, even anonymously on the internet, because we're so conditioned into believing that only a preference within one's own race is normal. I'm a black woman and up to this point in my life, I've only been with white men and I'm treated as if I'm wrong. I shouldn't feel embarrassed or awkward about feeling the way I do but I can't help it sometimes. No one criticizes the people who only date one race, when that race is their own, but in my case, it's as if I'm a traitor or as if my preference stems from some sort of self-hatred. I love that Brendashiraz described is as going back to her "roots." We may look different but I date guys who are like me, personality-wise. I won't deny that I prefer the features that are more often found on white guys; I like longer hair (that I can run my fingers through and pull a little during *cough* um, yeah), pale or fair skin, certain accents, blue eyes, green eyes, blonde hair, red hair, brown hair, thinner lips... I just love all of that! I like rock music and I want to share that interest. love when a guy can construct a grammatically correct sentence. I expect that of adults who speak English as their only language and the inability to do so greatly turns me off, regardless of his race. I hold these feelings with no desire to change myself. I love my complexion, my curves (although I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds), my coily dark hair, my brown eyes, my full lips and my nose. I like who I am and I like what I like. I've contemplated dating a black guy just so that I could say that I did because that would make me appear not racist but it would be inauthentic and I would just be using him. I just don't see myself ending up with someone of my own race, in the long run. I'm not sure if this makes me racist or closed-minded but I just have a preference. I know I shouldn't feel like that's wrong but I'm still seeking validation so I appreciate that everyone else here has shared their feelings.
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Root58 says:Posted: 27 Nov 11
It's all a matter of preferences, opinions, choices and/or experiences.
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dazzleyou says:Posted: 11 Nov 11
I love white guys, have date, will only date and finally settle down with one
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EddyReady says:Posted: 12 Nov 11@ DazzleYou You just go girl,step to the plate and hit a home run :) ! Wist you the best ! EddyReady
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mikielovinit says:Posted: 24 Mar 12Great, who knows that maybe one day we will cross paths !!! I'm hopeful & I hope you are as well. I have always been attracted to "women of color" since I was very very young. I have dated interracially since 1978 and I will one day meet & marry my soon to be Queen !!! Michael.
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Alise67 says:Posted: 26 Apr 12
Very well said. I really like your comment. Ive always like white guys even in high school. I pray that you will find the woman of your dreams of color.
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sunnylisa says:Posted: 16 Oct 11Mmmm i love the white skin and strong men
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EddyReady says:Posted: 02 Nov 11
SunnyLisa: Cool,baby girl :) ! You awsome lady's make the world go around :) ! EddyReady
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Brendashiraz says:Posted: 12 Oct 11
Sorr about the spelling mistakes it's late! Lol
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Brendashiraz says:Posted: 12 Oct 11
As a Black woman growing up Canada in a white family, all white schools from montesorynthrough college, yeah I guess you could say for me it is preference. Growing up I liked the boys in my school, my teen idols were white ( well except for MJ, but then he well.....let me not speak ill of the dead). But through all that, I never had any white guy like me bace, some that was 12 years plus of loneliness. Until I turned 19 and could to the clubs and all the American sailors were there too and OMG I was told was pretty, and that they wanted to go out with me, take me out to dinner I was in heaven. So I moved to the US to be with my Black men, and after 10 years of...well after 10 years I just realized that I needed to go back to my "roots" lol. For me dating white men was easy, they did not make fun of me because I like classic rock, county and classical. More often then not our families have similar back grounds, our social and political views are similar and so on. When dating black men I was always ridiculed sor speaking "white, dressing white, liking white music, whenat a party my date would say hey all listen to her talk! I have been told many times over that I am not a real black person because I did not grow up in the ghetto. And on the other side it was hard for black men to date me because I am so nice and do not have a "diva" side lol. One fellow just up and left me after he had come over for his birthday dinner. I ran him a bath, rubbed his......um..."back" dried him off, wrapped him in a soft robe, gave him a massage, sat him down to a candle light dinner it was so nice. About half way through he threw his fork down and yelled " I can't take it! Got his clothes and took off! He called when he got home and told me I was the nicest girll he had ever dated but he said " don't you ever get mad, throw a plate, kick a door? He said he was so wound up waiting for me to blow, and after six months of this stress building up in him, he just snapped! He was great too, I never had a reason to get mad with him so I never did! But after a while it really boils down to the person on the inside, because I find myself looking at all profile of handsome men!
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Moxie981 says:Posted: 24 Oct 11That was an experience with one Brother who could not just enjoy the experience of being pampered. There is nothing wrong with treating a man nice and spoiling him a little. I'm sure you got angry when you had to be angry. It was all about him. I got the "You're trying to be white" speech all my life. I talk the way I talk and if it's educated that is a good thing. There are great men of all colors all around. I have my preferences and I choose accordingly. Keep the faith. You're young,pretty and nice. Things will turn around for you.
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liam358 says:Posted: 06 Nov 11
my wife was very dark skinned but her mother taught her to speak proper english which didnt go over well with some blks in are neighborhood and i am white of irish ancestry and my children say the same thing about me i speak black which i really never noticed lol but it really is not funny to the person its being said about just be yourself and talk how you talk ma good luck
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Londonrose28 says:Posted: 30 Dec 11
I grew up in a white middle classy family in southern England UK, my stepfather was white English in a IR with my black mother from the early 90's. My childhood friends was mostly white, mixed or Asian ( growing up in London), all of my crushes was on white guys, skin colour didn't even cross my mind at that age. I don't think my family upbringing has had a huge impact on who I find attractive, I've never felt I'm suppose to date a Black man, that's how it is for most Black British born... I have nothing bad to say about BM and most British black men have nothing bad to say about BW either. for me WM is my preference. I have only been interested in handsome attractive men that are white and from a similar background, with similar interests to me. I would never make a blanket statement as previous have done that 'I love WM' or 'love white skin', much too selective and its more about the individual.
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nika23 says:Posted: 12 Feb 12
Your story sounds so much like mine. I always hear black men say they want a good woman to, but when they get one, they don't appreciate her. I have been accused of trying to trick them because I was nice, huh? It never made any sense to me either. They like the women who treat them like crap so they can have something to complain about and say how negative black women are. I too have been ridiculed for nor cursing, speaking proper English, being educated, listening to music that doesn't call me an "N" and a slut and"ho" etc etc. I would think these would be good qualities, but I hear this same thing from many black women. I have also been told that I'm not really black and trying to be white because I'm not acting ghetto. It's confusing to me why these men accept being ghetto as a natural state of being black. What the hell happened from the 1970's to now? Up until the 70's, black people still had pride in themselves and wanted to become educated and improve their lives and that of their children. I never grew up around white men because I'm from the Caribbean, but I was so surprised and completely enamored with the way I have been treated by men of other races. I had some black men that were good to me too, but the constant complaint of not being light skinned enough or not having the perfect body gets to you even if all the other things are in place. The first white boyfriend I had always told me how beautiful and gorgeous I was and complimented me on all the things I had once been ridiculed for. He was impressed by my education and appreciated my lack of cursing and lack of materialism. It was so amazing to have someone love me for me. It was a long distance relationship and I was in graduate school here and he was about to attend graduate school in Europe so it made things difficult. We're still in touch and are good friends and no matter what I've been so happy that I met him.
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rob26 says:Posted: 07 Mar 12ive got to comment on the whole " acting white" thin i think its dumb when ppl assign a way of dressin and talkin to a race wat it coms down to we are our environment i dated a black girl that was told she was actin white cause of how she dressed and talked and cause she only dated white guys and shed get mad but i understand cause i always get told that im tryin to be black cause of the way i talk and dress and who i date and i cant stand it im white i know im proud of who i am and my history hell ive got an irish flag hung in my living room im just from pennsgrove nj and bein black dont mak getto bein from the ghetto dos
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CarenB says:Posted: 13 Mar 12Do what you do, don't worry about other people. They aren't living your life, you only have to make you happy. and I never could understand when a person of color speaks the English that is taught for at least 12 yrs of their life, it is considered speaking "white". I think certain "white" slang and ebonics (sp?) make the person sound just a little less intelligent. just my opinion. i know it's not true, but when someone goes for an interview, the proper English comes out (well, we hope so anyway)
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jewelsets says:Posted: 12 Apr 12caucasion men are more apreciated of a african american womans lovethey got the cash and have more respect for u
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odel68 says:Posted: 20 Sep 11
is the white race evil? no more than any other race. our evil is just the most recent. but you can't hold me responsible for someone else's actions. did my ancestors own slaves? yes, some did. did my father laugh when dogs attacked blacks during the civil rights movement of the 60's? yes. but my parents became Christians and raised me different than they were raised. i was raised you were saved or unsaved. that was the only true difference that mattered. my grand father sat my dad down and taught him the "color line" of his generation. my dad taught me we were all one in our creator's image. we all dream of a better life, a better future for our children, and love. do i believe racism is dead? no. if you take a group of children of all the different races and put them in a classroom they will sit near the other children who are similar in appearance. the sameness is comforting. but you come back to those same children a week later and they will be sitting with children who have similar interests regardless of how they look. our prejudices are taught. why say negative things about someone who chooses to look past our differences and see the individual. just because muslim terrorists caused 9/11 doesn't mean all muslims are terrorists. nothing can change with out the first step and people looking at other people and seeing the individual is the first step. let these people lead with their heart and the world can not help but to be a better place. thank you, james
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jewelsets says:Posted: 12 Apr 12
white women know we are a threat they go out and get the pumped lips now all of asuddeh they want booty seems like somebody is trying to compete
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Soulfulgirl says:Posted: 19 Apr 12
Oh good grief... white women wanting to have a good butt or fuller lips is no different than a black woman getting her hair relaxed. I don't think women with relaxed hair are trying to do that so they can be more "white" because white women are a threat to their dating black men. That's just silly. You want to date white men, by all means go for it! I don't think most white women care what color of person dates a white man.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 22 Mar
White people aren't the only ones with straight hair. American Indians, Asians, (such as my Phillipines-born sister-in-law) Latinos, Eastern Indians and Middle Eastern people have it too. My mixed daughter has straight hair that she inherited from her white father. In fact, human hair wigs are made from Korean or East Indian hair. It only goes to show how "white" straight hair is. I've been on the receiving end of "acting/being white" epithets from ignorant people. It doesn't matter to me whom one dates, but double standards burn me up, be it BM's with preferences for WW, but takes issue with BW being with WM's and vice versa. I had BM's tell me that I'm ugly because I have thin lips and a flat butt. People are strange sometimes!
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DecemberJoy says:Posted: 15 Sep 11
I can't quite describe my preference when people ask me. I've felt like this over ten years. I'm about to be 26 this year. I agree that good and bad come in all colors. Now, we all have a list and most of the time - white men have most of what is on my list. That makes me happy. My dates have made me laugh, tried different types of things, caring, sensitive, smart, strong, etc. There is definitely an element of attraction as well. Don't get me wrong, I am attracted to black men still but sometimes I feel there are more differences with black men than white men. Yes, I'm well aware of the history that exists between black women and white men. I am never far from knowing my history, values, and experiences in America with white men. But there is also white in my family from generations ago, my family comes in all colors. Who would I be to reject one of god's creations? In any event, this is my preference and will probably be for the rest of my life. I hope to find someone to love and care for me until the day I die. And I hope we make a beautiful legacy to leave behind like my ancestors did. :-)
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missnicelady says:Posted: 10 Aug 11
Thank You. Please say it again..Good and Bad come in ALL colors. However Love has no color and everyone has their own personal preferrence and entited to attraction.
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denilson2000 says:Posted: 08 Aug 11
4African Black women are not attracted to white men. Not gut level attraction. Secondly I think it's interesting the way you share your experience with white man and elevate them as most black women seem to do these days by saying white men know how to treat them. You seem overwhelmed by the kindness and sensitivity white guys have showed you. I suspect White guys know this. And I suspect White guys use this to their advantage to dominate and sexually manipulate non-whites world wide. It seems that having sex with non-whites is at the very core of white Supremacy. As such, I believe that any time a White person has sexual intercourse with a non-white, that is Rape and should be labeled as such. There is no way a white person can have a constructive, healthy sexual relationship with a non-white under the system of racism. Every time it happens, the non-white is being exploited and the System of White Supremacy gets stronger. White people who are in sexual relationships with non-whites have told me that they believe this could be true and suspect it could be a motivating factor in their own behavior. As to finding a white male, with white females in competition with each other to catch a "financially secure" white male, what are the statistical chances for a black female to catch same ? Seems to me that in order to achieve that feat, the non-white female either has to be a super-magic Negress with pixie dust sprinkled all over her strategic parts or the white male is usually undesirable to a white female.
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REESE says:Posted: 13 Aug 11
Some black women treat all men we date equally. The better they treat us the better they get treated. What about how black men treat non black women. And you are wrong women who date men are more concerned with independence and security then looks. I was astrounded when the brothers were trying to say how ugly Naomi's man was. Ugly is in the eye of the beholder. And billionare trumpts looks with women of any race. There are alot of white women who would of wanted him. But I see alot of successful bm dating and marrying nannies, porn stars, topless dancers and women successful white men wouldn't look at. The black women want men who have drive and are successful and have chosen from the men in that pool of men. And black men are much more likely to date ir so what is the issue.
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happygolucky says:Posted: 17 Sep 11
@denilson is just another bitter babydaddy, is not married to his kids mother and does not live with his kids. No matter what your race I would not date such a two face man. Your pontification is ridiculous. Please do stay in London.
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r3llim says:Posted: 18 Sep 11
@happygolucky And you sound like a bitter, no man having black woman. Let's say that denileson is a low down thug with multiple kids he doesn't care for. WHAT PART OF THAT MAKES HIS ARGUMENT INVALID???? I don't even agree with everything he said but you taking personal shots at him by using stereotypes he may not have because you don't agree with his argument is complete foolishness. At least Reese gave a reasonable disagreement to his arguement. But for the sake of maintaining civility denileson do as she suggest and stay in London and happygolucky please stay in hell.
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NOPLAYER says:Posted: 23 Sep 11@happygolucky You come off as a bitter and scorned woman. I see no need to verbally beat you down because it seems as if somewhere along the way someone already was, but I'll leave you with this, " you don't allow someone to turn you certain way because they've treated you a certain way!" That gives them too much power over you. Bashing BM again? Seriously what has it done for you? Has it relived you of your emotional constipation? When you're done hating BM will keep on keeping on because despite your hatred for him there are so many BW and other women out there who love him, so get your own foot out of your way and maybe you'll find some happiness somewhere. When you're too busy loving yourself you don't have time to hate on other people!
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 01 Nov 21
Sounds like someone's angry because no woman will give him any yum-yum, especially since he refuses to respect her.
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4african10 says:Posted: 08 Aug 11
I am for white men! They know how to treat a woman, they are real and don't play games much as black men do! The way they care, love and CHERISH, I have dated both black and white and have enough experience, that's why I love white men
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Denilson2000 says:Posted: 02 Aug 11
The sad thing about these topics is this NO ONE ELEVATES US BLACK PEOPLE UP. You hear me ? NO-ONE Yet you all will sit here and elevate white people up Go and try and find me a site where white men are elevating black women up ? Or white women elevating black men ? If there are such sites, I know for sure, it will be some kind jungle fever sexual based thing. Yet you all want to sit here and elevate other races of men and women up and run down your own. Talking about how great white men are, how you are attracted to white men, how they are on you level. This almost makes me cry. The worst most pathetic thing is hearing a black woman or black man in a relationship with a white partner complaining that their partner or their partner's family is racist !!!! What the hell did you expect !!!!!!!!!!! To be honest I was interested in an interracial relationship but after reading the posts on here I can only say that intercourse with a white person has disastrous ramifications for the non-white person involved To me. Sexual intercourse symbolizes an intimate bond between two individuals. People naturally tend to develop a greater awareness and consideration for the person whom shares their bed. For black people with a white sex partner, this mandates that they see racism in a manner that allows for GOOD WHITE FOLKS. That is, White people who definitely don't do anything to participate in the System of racism / white supremacy. As with snack chips, it's generally difficult to stop at one. The black person will have to convince themselves that there is at least ONE White person who is not complicit with Racism/White Supremacy. As their white sex partner will come to represent their most penetrating and trusted relationship to White people. The white person will profoundly shape how black person perceives white people at large. Ramifications ? Speak to ANY black person involved with a white person and talk about racism and watch how quickly they are intolerant of any analysis of racism which assumes or suggests that every white person is a participant in the system of white supremacy. All White people would mean that their white partner is no exception; this is unacceptable for the maintenance of the black person's integrated relationship as well as their sanity. Thus to them racism becomes ABSTRACT. The System of White Supremacy is designed to befuddle non-white people. Our continued subjugation is the supreme evidence of our counter-racist deficiencies. Engaging in sexual intercourse with white people severely hampers our ability to remember that Racism is a product of White behavior. The Problem is White People. Black people with a White partner are frequently able to admit that racism persists. However, they will say that racism exists because of laws, statues, codes, customs, chance... anything, anyone but the White people they're seated with and smooching. LISTEN When White people address terrorism and crime, they make certain that everyone remembers that there are specific individuals to blame. Terrorists create Terrorism. Criminals create Crime. This flawless logic dictates that if Racism/White Supremacy endures, living, breathing Racists/White Supremacists (White People) are responsible. Sexual intercourse with a White person demands that the non-white person reject any discussion of Racism that implicates White folks - especially the White person whom sees them naked. There is nothing more sadder than a black person defending white people. Black people are conditioned to cater to and comfort White people. This is why when I talk about white people, it's often black people who are the first to jump down my throoat. The black person's defense is motivated to preserve white Innocence. In fact debates often degenerate to where the black person with a white sex partner accuses other black people of being racist; they contend that suggesting that white people be regarded as racist suspects is comparable to the KKK and segregationist. The intimate and emotional bond of sexual intercourse has infected the reasoning of these black people. Conquest often accompanies division.
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Denilson2000 says:Posted: 01 Aug 11
I'm going to be honest. When I see a white man with a black woman. Me and my friends do our best to humiliate him. Like get him to bend down tie our shoelaces or something like that, just totally DE-MAN him. First off the white man is ALWAYS ugly. But looks in white men is not important for non white women what is important is his whiteness. But for black man ? OH NO. The black man will have to look like Tyson Becvford or something like that. Brothers- Have you noticed the way non white women act around white men and black men ? You notice the way with white men, non white women act more girly, more submissive, their eye contact is more intense when they are dealing with a white man. The body language is more open, there is none of that sarcastic one word answers that we brothers get, OH NO. With white men, they show a side to them, that they would never and will never show to a black man, ESPECIALLY a dark skinned Wesley Snipes type looking black man. Sisters - You think the white man is so great ? You think the white man is better than black men. Yeah ? He used to rape black woman. Just think about that and this is the man who you think is so cultured. Until we realise that the first rule of war is SEX, then the same thing with happen again and again. Happened with Egypt, a black civilisation but was eventually taken over when the Arabs moved in and started sexing black women, same will happen with many parts of Africa. You are seeing it already, the Chinese are coming in and sexing black women. What ? Do we as people ALL WANT TO BE WHITE ? Are we that desperate ? We all want white babies, white features because you have been so brainwashed into thinking that white is right. A thousands ways the white man is TELLING US WE DON'T WANT YOU TO LIVE HERE WE DON'T WANT YOU TO WORK HERE WE DON'T WANT YOU TO COME IN HERE WE DON'T WANT YOU TO PLAY HERE WE DON'T WANT YOU TO STUDY HERE And these are men who you love so much ? The men who killed over a 100 thousand people in Haiti (they caused the quake) the men who cause famines, spread disease, kill Africans leaders, destabilise economies. These are men who have set-up institutions to destroy us. These are the men who never ever miss an opportunity to de-humanize, inferiorize and pathologize black people There are men who you love so much ? The men who you think are so refined ? You think I’m crazy ? *Yeah who is this crazy brother. This brother is crazy* You don’t know who you are dealing. I’ll say it again YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE DEALING WITH .Maybe after every single black person is gone from the planet, maybe then and only then will people start to realise.
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Member says:Posted: 24 Jul 11
Noni... I'm really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It's a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Great work!...
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REESE says:Posted: 14 Aug 11
You talk in alot of generalizations. Most black women perfer black men and the white men we are dating have no more control over these past artrosicies than you do.
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NubianGoddess says:Posted: 24 Jul 11I just love European men, because from my experiences, they are usually more cultured, more intelligent, and more ambitious. Some of the facets of life that are the most important to me, I cannot find in an American, so I prefer dating Europe. Having lived and worked in Europe, I would want to live there someday.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 05 Aug 11
DO TELL ....lol. I tend to agree with you although I haven't dated any Europeans. I just tend to think they have a much better mindset about race and ethnicity....:)
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REESE says:Posted: 13 Aug 11
Well I seem to find that as well. I am not even looking for them. I want educated, open minded and fun. Then you go wth who approaches you. And alot of Europeans for me. Also people from Indian region or middle easteren. But most of these guys are all educated and independent so I am not complaining. Alot of africans are too, but culturally conservative like the middle easterners. But the middle easterns have been gentlemen, but would be scared to go their country as wife.
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kosmetyki says:Posted: 21 Jul 11
kosmetyki... Hi! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it tough to set up your own blog? I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I'm thinking about making my own but I'm not sure where to begin. D...
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Member says:Posted: 19 Jul 11
bielizna sklep... This design is steller! You certainly know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost...HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how y...
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713mandingo says:Posted: 13 Jul 11
I personally believe everyone should date who they want BUT,If you are someone who says that you don't or won't date your own race,then that's when I have a problem with people.How can you was you're not interested in dating someone who is the same color as you?it's a known fact that us blacks have more in common with each other and can relate to each other more that any 2 people of the same race.But I have notice that majority of Black women who date outside the race are usually women who didn't have their father around,could that be a part of the cross over?don't know but I also believe that Hollywood with their constant pairing of black women with White Men is influential with making sistas crossover.I personally will date whoever I like no matter what color but when it comes to marriage and kids,I want a black woman,I want REAL black kids,but who knows,maybe a woman of another color will change my mind cause like that old say,love is blind,But if you are just dating other races cause you have a problem dating your own or flat out don't like guys of your own race,then you are just a straight up sell out.
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Moxie981 says:Posted: 27 Aug 11
I am responding to 713mandingo when I say my preference for cultured, nice men, who are white, has nothing to do with an absent father. My parents divorced when I was six, were separated for many years and when I was about 20, came back together and are married again to this day(I'm 48). My father changed out of his City uniform to go up to my Catholic Girls high school to greet all the Nuns and inspect my reports cards with my mother. No one else had their fathers there every time. He left my mother for a time, He Never Left Me, and now we are together as a family. He Does Not Like my preference in men, but he does like the men who are nice to me and treat me well. I am well aware that White men have done horrible things to Black People. Slavery and Rape were dead wrong then and it's dead wrong now. I was engaged once to a man who would look me in the eye and ask me if it was ok to touch me before we made love. I asked why he did that once, and he said he must always ask and I must always say yes. I felt respected and loved every time and it really hurt when it ended after six years. That is the action of a loving man. I felt the Love and it's more than skin color. You have to do what's right for you and I will do what's right for me.
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Riannecalifa says:Posted: 04 Jul 11
I love white men but its a challenge finding HOT white guys that feel the same for a black woman. But I do not mind dating guys from other races.
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safeRuchelle says:Posted: 02 Jul 11
I'm a 19 year old black Jamaican woman, I must say I love my black men, but somehow I'm just always coming back to white guys, what can I say...... I'm crazy about white guys. My family and friends don't get it.... The say, I quote" how can u turn ur back on ur own kind for them that put us through so much" end quote... We r always having these fights about black woman dating white guys!!!!!!!! I just love looking into those colored eyes especially the guys with sea Blue eyes. Its my decision to choose who I want, and I made my decision and I owe no apology to no one........!
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shotgun007 says:Posted: 27 Jun 11
Not to steer completely away from the subject but there is something that I keep running into over and over again on these blog websites, topix, public forum, discussion boards etc. I would really like for our world to come to a place where we can stop the malicious attacks against each other, intra-culturally speaking. Its' okay if you prefer to date Mexican women, but to all the black men out there that might see this posting, please stop the cast-out insults on BW. The same goes for some of these white females that I also see postings from, professing their love for that "black man" that they are involved in and how they no longer prefer white men etc. I use these 2 examples because that is what I'm seeing mostly. To everyone, by all means, your preference is your choice, so shall it be, but by all means please stop the down-trotting of your own race or making these crazy comparisons because we all have room for growth and change. It just seems so unbefitting and quite silly to be frank. For example, I will date Caucasian men and Latino men in a heartbeat. I think that most of the ones I have met are very straight forward and career driven. But that in no way implies that in the same breathe; you would hear me putting down black men. Thanks for listening, Shotgun
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onetreehill says:Posted: 20 Jun 11I can't speak for all "black women" but I can speak for myself. I date whomever I am attracted to and have the most in common with. At the time that I was dating, it happened to be a white male who caught my attention. There is nothing mysterious about why women of color date men from other races. I think it all boils down to preference. Allow me to adjust that last statement, there are "SOME" women of color who date white men for specific reasons, none having to do with love. These are individuals who may need help from a therapist.
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TYRANT says:Posted: 27 Jul 11
shotgun007 says:I would really like for our world to come to a place where we can stop the malicious attacks against each other, intra-culturally speaking. Its’ okay if you prefer to date Mexican women, but to all the black men out there that might see this posting, please stop the cast-out insults on BW. The same goes for some of these white females that I also see postings from, professing their love for that “black man” that they are involved in and how they no longer prefer white men etc. I use these 2 examples because that is what I’m seeing mostly. TYRANT replies: Is that what you're seeing or is that what you're CHOOSING to SEE? I've been on this board and others and I've seen black women BASH black men. In fact, all you have to do is go one page back to confirm this fact. shotgun007 says: To everyone, by all means, your preference is your choice, so shall it be, but by all means please stop the down-trotting of your own race or making these crazy comparisons because we all have room for growth and change. TYRANT replies: You're right, there is room for change, but is it change for the BETTER or WORSE? There is NO DENYING the FACT that there's a segment of black women-on this forum-who are INCAPABLE of dating a white man without BASHING black men in the process. I know, this is a BITTER pill to swallow, but it is what it is. I'm NOT going to ask black women to stop throwing out INSULTS to black men, because as ADULTS, both black women/men should be able to date whomever they wish without TRASHING each other in the process {At least in theory} *chuckle*. Now I know this idea is WAY AHEAD of it's time, but I can-and have-dated women of other races without DISRESPECTING black women in the process. Why? Because I'm the son of a black woman and I LOVE black women. Period.
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GoddessLadyS says:Posted: 19 May 11I have read most of the post on this subject about dating outside of your race and I guess for me I am also one of those who does. Well I cannot actually say it's completely outside of my race. I know when people see me, they see a black female, but I'm not. I'm a mutt. Completely. My maternal grandfather was mostly Italian and a little Dutch. My grandmother was as dark as they come but she is Black and Native American. My father's side they are Black, Native American (2 tribes), French and an Indigneous people from Central America. I'm proud to be what I am, but I am more drawn to Latino/Mediterranean/Native American men. I don't know. It could be also the environment I grew up in. I am a military brat also, and the one place that stuck out to me the most was living in Hawaii, where that's there is a mixture of people. That's what Hawaiians are a race of people of a lot of other different races. I feel being attracted to one race or another is just breded in us from a very early stage, not just by tv or society, but even maybe family.
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Made2SpoilU says:Posted: 21 May 11Hi GoddesLladyS, I agree w/ ur reply. Being a ex army brat we were exposed 2 so many cultures & races that dating men of other races was just a norm 2 me & w/in the militery community its just anorm as well. I must admit I thk islander (samoian, hawiian) r sexy as hell, but haven't seen 2 many of them on this site as I had wished. My fam I s a bred of mutts as well. My moms mom was very very light w/ grey eyes & wore her hair in 2 long braids....& her mother (my great grandmother was native america & my great grandfather was white. We r a mixture of different people & no1 pure anything (pure white, blk ect) not even. I am proud & love being a blk woman...that is why I don't use the title African American becuz I am not African
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Made2SpoilU says:Posted: 21 May 11
Hi GoddesLladyS, I agree w/ ur reply. Being a ex army brat we were exposed 2 so many cultures & races that dating men of other races was just a norm 2 me & w/in the militery community its just anorm as well. I must admit I thk islander (samoian, hawiian) r sexy as hell, but haven't seen 2 many of them on this site as I had wished. My fam I s a bred of mutts as well. My moms mom was very very light w/ grey eyes & wore her hair in 2 long braids....& her mother (my great grandmother was native america & my great grandfather was white. We r a mixture of different people & no1 pure anything (pure white, blk ect) not even. I am proud & love being a blk woman...that is why I don't use the title African American becuz I am not an African that became an american I am an american who is blk, but not pure blk. I guess it all boils down 2 knowing urself, loving who u r & knowing what u want. To thy ownself be true! :D I hope that this will be the site that my true is found. Lots of potential & open minds. Love 2 all! :D
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Member says:Posted: 18 May 11
nordstrom dresses... Howdy! I could have sworn I've been to this website before but after reading through some of the post I realized it's new to me. Nonetheless, I'm definitely happy I found it and I'll be bookmarking and checking back often!...
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Hodda says:Posted: 17 May 11In my opinion, Nothing wrong with dating outside of your race for the right reason. Which should be Love. It's about being comfortable in your own skin acknowledging who you are as beautiful black women and accepting it. For instance, You may have dated a hundred black men that treated you like dirt, no one likes that feeling. But you learn from it and move on, not run from it or hide from it, treat it as if it don't exist. It's part of you, so you deal with it and move forward. No 2 men, or women are the same. so no 2 relationships should ever be the same. If so, you need to look in the mirror and check yourself. Because your choice and selection of the wrong men has now become a pattern. it has nothing to do with him being black. I don't believe in victims to unhappiness only volunteers. Unless it's out of her control. We as Black men and women are every bit of what our past has allowed us to become, nothing more nothing less. Limit who we are and that's all we will ever be. So I feel some Black woman date white men for happiness, some don't some do it to escape deeper issues.
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Made2SpoilU says:Posted: 11 May 11
I am a blk femlae who grew up as a army brat so I was introduced 2 different cultures races & ethnic backgrounds. For me seeing a blk man w/ a Germany woman or white or asian or latina didnt bother me because that is what I grew up around. Nor does it or did bother 2 see a blk woman w/ a white man or asian or latino or w/ any other race. I have been dating out side of my race since I could date. I have & do date blk men as well, but its been a while. I was told as a fuller thick figured woman noone but a blk man could or would be able 2 appreciate my curves & assets. Ummmm WRONG!!!! Nothing could be further from the truth. I will admit I was a lil worried if anyone but a blk would find me attracktivesense I wasn't a slimmer woman, but I was proven wrg quick fast & in a hurry. My 1st boyfriend ever was latino & he made it clear 2 my that my curves were sexy & pleasing 2 him as well as my heart & my caring ways. He was the 1 that showed me that love is deeper then the skin. Its the heart n soul of a person no matter the color. We try 2 play it off if we thk a white man is attractive 2 them...well I don't. If I like what I see (no matter what your race) well that's me. I show no shame. I'm on this site 2 date interracially. I feel if u like what u like who I am 2 judge. As far as I know my name isn't God. I am a woman who has grown up loving & befriending people of different cultures & races. I have friends from ever background. I love dating different men of different races...white, latino, islander, native american etc...I have a open mind because I have had exposure 2 an open world as a young child. I say u date who u want. Its ur life not mine. I'm grown & can do as I please. If u don't dig interracial dating then what r ya doing on this site??? Lol (I'm just saying) I've only been on this site since Monday. I won't become a full member until Friday, but so I am liking what I see & who is seeing me. Can't 2 be able 2 send messages. I am liking the attention! Keep it coming!! :D
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Happybunni says:Posted: 26 Apr 11
I'm from London, England and i know this is an interracial dating site but i think black men get too much negative press!! I am a black woman who loves men period especially black men!! The ones i've comes across i'm still friends with, I find black men to be very hot sexy and smart, fantastic in bed and yes they do have bigger wotsits and know how to use it!! No other man has really loved me like a black man has and even though i've been with men of other races i still come back to the dark chocolate, big brown eyed, smooth talking black man. It's making me goose pimply just talking about it..lol Well that's just my humble opinion. Thank you and have a nice day as you yankies always say!!
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patriot9878 says:Posted: 22 Apr 11
That black women runners in the Olympics are toned, but something happens later. Maybe it's all the fatback or pigs feet, but all black women get that great big butt. They let themselves go. The Blacks get a llot of White women, because they are more agressive. Anyone that goes around hitting on all low class women will get some every now and then. Black guys will say they would like to slam it with them sometime. White guys are not as aggressive. it has to do with the testosterone levels. But that stuff gets old. Some women want aggressive men and some want gentlemen. Black guys around Black guys will act different. When they are around White guys they will say things like, "Pardon me would pass the grey poupon?"
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smileyface79 says:Posted: 15 Apr 11
I'm attracted to both black and white men, but if I keep my options open (racially speaking) I have more chances of finding love, and my soulmate. :)
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iceburger says:Posted: 14 Apr 11I love this story....it says so little or nothing.
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RockRaven says:Posted: 05 Apr 11My last relationship was with a Black man, the one before that was with a White man. I agree with those who say that its fine to date whoever you want. There is nothing wrong with that. I also agree the problem comes in when you say you refuse to date a certain race based on bad experiences or really stupid stereotypes. Since I do not approach men, my dating life has mainly been shaped by who shows interest in me. If there is a spark there, we will see where it goes. I could care less what color you are, that is the least of my worries when I meet you. I care more whether or not you still live with your mama. LOL As a proud Black woman, it absolutely floors me that in my experiences it has been my own people for the most part that approach me and use words like "sellout" and "wannabe". For centuries we've been told how to live, what to eat, where to live, where to sit where to learn and who to love. Now that we have that freedom, we choose to stay in the box. Its a BIG WORLD out there and there are a lot of experiences to be had. You only have one life. Do not deny yourself.
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HappyPhoenix says:Posted: 06 Apr 11
I agree with you completely RockRave, sometimes the hardest thing about being black is everyone telling me (directly or indirectly) how to live my life.
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Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21
To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.
I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.
BOY WAS I WRONG!!
I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).
She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.
She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".
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I don't see anything wrong with having a preference; however, I do find it irritating when people seem to feel the need to state either in person or on profiles "I only date ___ men/women!" as though it's something to brag about or should make the person they are talking to feel good. I have no control over what color I am, so it's really not a compliment in my opinion. And it almost makes me wonder where it's just a fetish rather than a preference, in which case I would want no part in that. I do think that white men have a different way of approaching women generally. But you can't make blanket statements about any group of people. I've been approached and treated rudely by white men the same as other men.