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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8087 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 10

    Dear Scoff/Sarah.... I, for one am not bored by your story....and keep in mind, I have been around this place long enough to have read it before. I STILL ENJOY IT. And BESIDES, if someone were not inclined to read it, guess what that little wheel in the middle of the mouse does????....LOL. (Scroll.....I have said it before so many times; had to think of another way right there...LOL) Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  2.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 10

    Laughing and wondering? Well I posted a long detail about the conversation Scoff and I had that day. However the powers that be pulled it. Soooooooooo I'll try again another day..... Our new members remember the Moon is full, and be carefull of the two L's (love or lust) lolol I hope you two find the common ground, and build from their.. Love and God Bliss Sarah

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  3.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 10

    I think it's so cool that you guys are talking to each other. Finally, I think we have gotten to the point on this side of the website where there is peace and harmony. And it's cool that two nice people have found each other. :) That's a blessing. Hey Tom,I intended to say hello to you the other day.

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  4.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 10

    @ Nawlunzguy okay...now for the details about me falling asleep on nawlunzguy while listening to him on the phone @ midnight. It wasn't because he was boring or that i had lost interest. i was just worn out from tearing off my old porch and building the new one. My porch is 22ft X 7 ft. and very heavy going ount and putting in... i was so embarrassed when i realized i had fallen asleep on him...i woke up hearing him calmly calling my name over and over again....now if you didn't know the details it would sound like more had gone on than what actually did....no my white night has still not boarded the lear jet yet....even if he does i will still be on my best behavior so that he will know that i am a lady and he is a gentleman.

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  5.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 10

    Please forgive me I think I had a senior moment,lolo so let me finish up the conversation I had with Scoff that day. Remember now this was in the summer of 1964. As Scoff had mentioned earlier, our comfort level had advanced so that we started opening up to each other, with questions about why I do this (like stay covered all time) or the hat or scarf/bandanna always covering my hair. As usual I'm getting ahead of my self only @ 16 years old and full of youth, would a girl believe that a boy loved her in only about 6 weeks. Well I did, but at that age age it's hard to seperate, the two L's (love or lust). Of course we had our little make up session, long kisses, holding each othe, telling each other how much we love each other, oh I know we all have been through these sessions. Calmed down now with us thinking every thing is okay, we started talking, really having a conversation, in that we each began to listen to what the other person was saying. Scoff started explaining that he was rather flattered that Ms. Good hair had payed him any attention, alluding that she was a good looking girl, with beautiful hair. As most men he added a disclaimer, oh but I would never do anything with her, I don't like her personility, she seems like the type to use men. Then he mention Sarah you know I've only seen you with out something covering your hair maybe a half dozen times, you look good the way you wear your hair. (at the time it was kinda of straightened and pulled back in (lolol) almost poney tail. Then I began to tell him about how we have to take care of our hair, sun dries it out makes it brittle, we have to treat it to maintain the straightness. Of course he wanted to know about what I meant by maintaining it. So then I went through the products we use, the oil treatments, how harsh some of the products were, remember back in those days some of the older folks used some sort of lye concoction, thank God my Mother said no. Taking off my bandanna, I said feel my hair now, it was due for an oil treatmen, touching my hair he of course he commented I like your hair it's you, don't change it (typical male responce). I said fine if you want to comb, pik it, brush it every day for me I would. Laughing he said Sarah honey don't worry about your hair your beautiful any way you wanat to wear it. My turn I asked why white people are always try to get sun tans and look dark, puzzled for a minute he finally admitted he really didn't know, but it seems the girls like boys with dark tans, smiling I said what if told you I would rather see you with less of a tan. Thinking minute he asked really. It was my turn to laugh now, I said no I like you the way you are. Then we got down to some more serious subjects what his family life was like much to our surprise our parents may of been white and black but they had the same beliefs. To my surprise, he mentioned that in his family the word N---er would bring strong looks and from his mother and father as that it is a white trash term, and their not white trash. Colored was the proper term, and use that and only that. I learned his Mother was Greek and that she was very strict, about treating people different because in her youth she grew up in Tarpon Srings, Fl. and that when they went out of their neighbor hood people made remarks about them and that they needed to go back to their neighbor hood. Both of us had to go to church on Sunday, reguardless of how we felt. I know we must of stayed their over an hour just comparing our families, in the end we found that we were more alike than different. We both laughed about the restrautants being seperate but 99 percent of the time the cook was black. As Scoff said now that's crazy, don't want to eat next to a colored person, but it's all right for them to cook the food. In the end after that day I discovered that I really did love that boy, as I never had a boy my age set and talk about things like he and did. Walking home I was floaating, and in love, not lust just love. This started a more serious part of our relationship, I must say it opened the whole subject of race between us, I explained why black people as a general rule just stayed away from white people, we always thought in some way or the other it seemed to always lead to trouble. I really believe that when I seen for the first time 40 something years it was truly divine intervention. My first love, at a very low period of my life, I was not happy being alone, and God answered my prayers As you can image their was alot more to this conversation, I just wanted to hit some of the highlights. Love and may God Bless Sarah

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  6.   Nawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 10

    Morning all. Hope everyone is getting through the week. OK, before I start feeding the flames of the rumor mill, or have my butt smacked, allow me to "clarify" that friendly13 and I shared a phone conversation. It was late and she started to doze off, hence my "pun" :)

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  7.   Tom4Blaq says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 10

    Dear: PetiteChick, Friendly13, Bambabelle2k9 and the rest. It's wonderful to see so many newcomers enjoying the blog. Wonderful things happening here with Nawlunzguy and Friendly13? This is wonderful. You both deserve each other - best wishes to two wonderful people! Warm regards,

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  8.   Tom4Blaq says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 10

    Dear Godiva: Thank you for writing. Please take a look at my updated profile.

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  9.   coolteen987 says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 10

    well thats all fine i am a white guy and people say that i should date a white girl but there are alot of hot black girls in the world is it better to go with a black girl or a white girl

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  10.   Twilight101 says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    @Sarah/Scoff - I am new to this site, so I have never read your story. I have so many questions, but I try to be polite and allow you to tell the story at your own pace. I believe there has always been attraction and love between black women and white men. I met an interesting white man about 30 years ago. We worked together in a petro-chemical plant. I chose not to date him because I was afraid of what my black co-workers would think. Your story is so beautiful! The fact that the two of you are telling it together makes it special. :) I agree with Nawlunzguy...you leave us hanging for the next chapter.

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  11.   Nawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    Good day all. @Sarah - your story is ANYTHING BUT boring. And as ChocolateLady stated, "you HAVE TO FINISH the story!" You receive so much support and encouragement, I don't understand how you could think otherwise. Personally I love it and thoroughly enjoy reading EVERY word, imagining the whole time what it looked like in reality. It truly is like a good book that simply allows the reader to totally immerse themselves and, in a sense, share in the tale. I find myself imaging "the station", "Ms. Good Hair", "your meeting spot"... Each and every details captivates me and I am truly saddened when you run out of words. It also leaves me hanging waiting for the next chapter to be told.

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  12.   ChocolateLady says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    To Sarah This is not boring, HBO and Showtime have made Movies related to this. What about the Lovings in Virgirnia? Go and let Scoff continue to pamper you, don't work so hard in moving and finish the story when you have time. I don't think that you are a Boring Old Woman, Wisdom comes with age and you are teaching the younger generation about interracial love. Take care, enjoy life and stay Blessed!!!!

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  13.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    @Ms. ChocolateLady I'm so scared that I'm boring people, you know this is something that happened 30 plus years ago, as you and I know times have changed, some to the point I don't even want to try and keep up. I had this expeirence in my life, truthfully I would never do it again, with that said I don't regret going trough that relationship. I will say being close to a white person for that short time made be a better person. It gave me the insight that white people in general have no understanding of our black culture, how we came to be who we are, most of all that we are more alike than different. Oh enough babble from a bored Ol'woman, I'll be very un=bored when I get back to the coast this week end. My time to be pampered by Scoff for 3 or 4 days, and I have a list to get my house ready to be moved into.. I have hide the list away from Scoff, as he will hide from me if he see's it LOLOLO Love all of you God Bliss Sarah

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  14.   ChocolateLady says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    No you have to finish the story... People are new to this site!

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  15.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    Laughing Ms. ChocolateLady Is it as a good way or laughing like in a bd way. Really when you start putting any segement of your life out their it really can become some kind of soap with every day drama/trauma. Really posting this the second time was not a very good idea. So I'll spare myself and all the others and just leave it where it's at. Love & God Bliss Sarah

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  16.   ChocolateLady says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    OMG, this is like the Soaps....

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  17.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    I think I had better take this project over, Scoff has a way of making himself sound soooooooo innocent. As in a normal relationship we can claim a certain amount of ownership to that person you have affections for. In ours we were denied that, in fact we could not show any public affection, or for that matter be seen talking togeather with exception of short encounters related to work. This brings Ms. Good hair into the picture, a slightly older woman, (19 to 20) more mature, and yes very very attratice, with damn good long straight hair. All of this was compounded by her repatation, for being very promicous, plus the rumor she even went out with white men, (just a rumor never really actually proven). Taking all this in, at the age of 16, in love for the first time, I felt very threatened, how could I compete with a girl/woman like that. During the course of the day every time she got a chance she would stop Scoff and engage him into some sort of conversation, of course Mr. Scoff was more than willing to do his part as it seemed that every time he had a chance he would make a trip in or around her station. My the end of the day I was hot, and mean really hot, adding the frustration of not being able to say anything to any one. So at quitting time, I made sure Scoff was to meet me, and I had plans to as my late Father used to say ( turn the Bulldog loose on him). Waiting at our spot, I could see Scoff walking away from the packing shed, expecting him to turn down the path that led to my location he continued walking toward the main road. Boiling point was on my temper gauge when he suddenly turned back and started down the path toward me. First I felt relief, then I the did the slow anger burn. As he approached with that charming smile and those blue eyes sparkling he noticed the look on my face, his expression become one of like whats wrong, did I do something. Wow did I ever turn loose on him, did he want to be with me or her, you sure hung around her all day, like you two got something going, on and on to the point if you go around her again you need to wear your shirt. I was hot and out of control, Scoff continuede talking and telling me how pretty I was, and any other smoooooth type line he could come up with. Finally giving up he snatched me close to him and gave me the most passionate kiss I had ever had. At first I resisted, then I gave in slightly, then he said those magic words all women wait to hear. Sarah I LOVE you, stepping back I looked at his face and by God I really knew he did. Working things out: I think this part of relationship is one reason we remained friends over the years. When I get time i'll post this conversation as it has alot of information for crossing the black white line. Oh the shirt thing she said she loved the tan muscled type boys, and she said the white where his jeans slipped looked so sexy. Oh she was such a hussie/slut, messing with my boy friend. LOLOLO So that was our first arguemnet/fight really after it was all over with and long conversation as to where our relationship should go to keep both of us safe and comfortable. Love and God Bless Sarah

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  18.   bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    @Nawl and Friendly awwwwwww well if you did, great it's nice to see two nice people come together. :)And friendly yes I wante details lol but not on here you can tell me in private. I think you got my email addy.

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  19.   Nawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    I can only admit to this one simple truth: -friendly13 fell asleep on me the other night. You'll have to ask her to share further details. A gentleman never tells...

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  20.   bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    ok i know i've been gone for a little bit but um, Nawl and Friendly, do I smell a little ROMANCE in the air? :)

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  21.   Nawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    Hey everyone! Sorry for being away a bit. Time seems to fly by without warning or notice. Like friendly13, I, too have been busy, although I think she beats me hands down with her dynamic schedule. -hmmm, did that come out right? Well, I know you all likely understand. Speaking of @friendly13... glad to learn your interest in the movie role. I would STRONGLY suggest we rehearse (and rehearse and rehearse...) the "kissing scene" to make sure we provide a realistic portrayal of Scoff and Sarah's first intimate moment. @Scoff - still enjoying the story you and your better half tell and share with us all. It is very engaging and I long to read every word when either of you write. I look forward to more of the story unfolding. OK, well, back to the grind. Take care all!

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  22.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    @ Scoff/Sarah Yes, I remember my grandfather (who was mixed) referring to blacks as colored. That was for the same reason that you stated. It was the term used when he was coming up.

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  23.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    Hey everyone....been real busy...Nawlunzguy is my witness. Still catching up but still on the scene.

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  24.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 10

    @ Nawlunzguy I always wanted to be an actress. I would love to play sarah and co-star in a movie with you.

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  25.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 10

    Bridges/and learning A Black Woman/ Religin/ Politic's/ and never forget about the hair I know Sarah is going to tell you about our first little tift, as a man I couldn't help to but to my 2 cents in first. As Sarah had already told the instance of our first kiss, causing the flood gates of our young and innocent passion to open up. Being fueled with passion; caused us to be always scheming, and plotting our way for the next few minutes togeather and if we were real lucky maybe an half hour or more. So after a few weeks of this I was getting more comfortable being with a black girl, still learning about a lot of things. Not that there is that much difference, just small traits of the black woman you need to be aware of. Now comes the hair, this colored girl that also worked in the packing shed, well to be honest was a knock out, there was no denying it colored or white, she had all the boys taking second looks. I learned from the the black boys she was referred to as a red bone, still not sure why. So anyway she had this stunning long reddish brown hair, and I assume from the sun nearly blond streaks. So one day moving the creates around to the girls, she stopped me and asked if I could help her fix her sorting table, being like any average hot blooded young male I jumped at the chance. At first it was all bussiness, then she started a little flirting. Being flattered I returned the flirts, then she commented to girl next to her if this boy hangs around here much longer I'll have to go out with him, of course we all laughed because we all knew that would never happen. Getting a little embarressed, I quickly finished up the repairs and got on with my routine. Unkowing to me, my sweet Sarah had observed the whole thing, and to make matters worst the red head then turned and started a conversation with Sarah and this other girl, that she was thinking about maybe chasing that white boy. The rest of the day got better, or worst depends on how you look at. If I get a chance I'll try and post the rest of the day later. Just a few items, we are NOT HEROES, we kept our relationship secert. When we use the term colored in our day that was the correct and polite term to use. Even today when I'm around some of the older black members of our community, I hear them referance the term colored for black people. Of course I use the term black always. God Bless all of YOU luv Scoff

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  26.   ChocolateLady says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 10

    Forgive me for incorrectly spelling your name. I did not want to offend you, I just gave my opinion. Peace!

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  27.   Tom4Blaq says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 10

    Hello everyone. Petitechick, Friendly13, Bambabelle2k9 hope all is well with you all. Gentlemen, hope you are well also. Just dropped in to say hello. Regards,

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  28.   RickHayes says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 10

    Is anyone in this room from Austin (Texas)?

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  29.   RickHayes says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 10

    ?

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  30.   RickHayes says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 10

    Hey there, tattooed2death, whatcha doing tonight

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  31.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 10

    Thank you TIMES TWO, BAMA-sis....As usual you see the "forest" AND the "TREES". PEACE

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  32.   bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 10

    Hey Ladies and Gentleman. Hey Tatt like that new profile pic of you. :) I thought I'd put my two cents in. I think as black women, we need to stop apologizing for being sexual creatures. I think we can be sexual without letting sex define who we are as women because we are more then that and most good guys will see that. :)

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  33.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 10

    Just CLARIFY SOMETHING....as I am TATTED2DEATH (some may think I am "tattered"....LOL) I was not implying that every woman of color MUST "lust" after a man. But the way the question was posed (AND I ANSWERED IT HONESTLY FROM MY VIEWPOINT), I thought it was due time that stereotyping, of any kind, be put to rest. The whole idea that men are the only ones that get stimulated visually is just BS....TO ME. In no way shape or form was I indicating that you had to be "loose"...(lol....I just have to giggle at that term....some of you all know why) or could not maintain your "prudishness"..(A word you espoused....NOT I....LOL). I just think it is unfair to make it seem that women can't enjoy the aesthetic appeal of men. Or conversely, chastise men for simply admiring a womans physique. That was my main focus. NOW WHAT TRULY LIES IN YOUR HEART should be for you (and mabye your significant other) to share. Lust maybe sinful in certain people's eyes but NO ONE was talking about seriously acting on anything to any extreme (i.e. rape or sexual promiscuity)..... Just wanted to respond since I was addressed directly here... Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  34.   ChocolateLady says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 10

    Hi Sarah and Scoff: Yes you two have us all intrigued with your relationship. From your teenaged years and then when you met again later on in life... I have a short story to tell 40 years ago approx., when my parents were on a verge of a divorce my Mother use to tell us to marry a WM and she did this everyday all day long. Now for me and my sister we started hearing this at the age of about 8-10. Back then this was unheard of, well my youngest sister heard this since she was in the womb. She use to have pictures of these young white actors in her room like John Stamos and some other actors when me and my 2nd sister had pictures of the Jackson 5. She had 1 black BF in High School and maybe for 1 year after while he was in college. Low and behold he cheated on her or he must have mistreated but I really think he cheated on her and she never had another black boyfriend and she didn't marry one either. As my father would say Mommy got her wish my baby girl married a white boy and we all love him to death!!!!! He is the best brother in law. Incidently my second sister married a man that was bi-racial and he was crazy of course that relationship did not work out.

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  35.   Twilight101 says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 10

    Hello, Sarah, I know that you and Scoff have more to do than write for your fans, but I am so waiting on another chapter of your story. Jealousy and "good hair", unfortunately" are alive and well, still, LOL. :)

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  36.   Twilight101 says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 10

    Hello, Asleep, Let me apologize, right off the bat, for commenting without knowing very much about your situation. :) Every black woman is different. It has been my experience that people (blacks included) tend to have a small...very limited, image or definition of what a black woman is/does. We are a very diverse group...mentally, physically, and spiritually. I once dated a white guy who had never dated a black woman before. I had actually dated several white men before him. Anyways, he expected me to be a "certain way". He was very disappointed to find that our childhoods and backgrounds were similar. Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long becuase he wanted some type of "black experience" that I couldn't/wouldn't provide, LOL. The lady that you're involved with may be black, but we may not have anything in common with her. Gain introspect by talking with her. Meeting her friends and family. Listen to her...do you hear me...listen to her. Find out what makes her smile. Is she a flower woman or not...does she know Jesus...what kind of music does she listen to...You can only learn these things by loving, respecting, caring, and listening to her. Good luck to you!

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  37.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 10

    Ms. Twilight No, even thinking about another person having any knowledge of our relationship, was just out of the question. Of course then between Scoff and myself it came to point that we felt our silence was necessary to protect the person we loved. Yes, it made it very hard at times to smother our emotions, if I have time today I will tell; of one those times when the green eyed monster JEALOUSLY raised it's ugly head,which led to some very interesting conversations. The really ironic situation was that another black girl said something about and to Scoff. Looking back I laugh at the whole affair, plus as we used to say in our day plus she had good hair. lolol I Love all of you God Bless Sarah

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  38.   Asleep says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 10

    Kind of a tough question. I've never actually said to myself 'ok, I am going to date a black woman!' The woman that peaked my interest is black, and I did not know this at the time, but learned this later on. We are together now, and I am here to gain some insight and knowledge on black culture, the various stigmas and all that kind of stuff. Cheers!

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  39.   Twilight101 says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 10

    @Sarah, Thank you so much for taking the time to share. When you were going through this at 15 or 16, did you have anyone that you trusted with your secrets? How about Scoff, did he confide in anyone?

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  40.   lovecrazy says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 10

    So am I Nawl I'm a hopeless romantic call me your Jane Austen:)

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  41.   Nawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    Gosh I dislike when I hastily hit that "Submit Comment" before rememberisng to proof my spelling...

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  42.   Nawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    OMG Sarah... I actually have tears streaming down the sides of my cheeks. (OK, confession time: I'm a DIEHARD romantic, but that's another story). Your rendering of the time you met Scoff is so... moving, so touching, so LIFELIKE. You have such a creative writing style that, as a reader to this tale, I feel TOTALLY immersed in it. It's as if I am watching the story unfold in front of me. I am at a loss for words to describe the emotions you've stirred within me. Thank you! As @ChocolateLady has already pointed out, your love story would make a marvelous movie script. No doubt it would be terrific reading in book or fashion form, but I would dearly love to see it on big screen (Hey, can friendly13 and I play you and Scoff?). Seriously, you should develop and write an outline and see if the work could be published. You have an amazing gift and the story, especially set in the time your relationship developed makes it even more of a tale that should be told. Oh, the tears were replaced with laughter and a huge grin upon reading the 'kissing' scene at the pond. It's sweet with a certain friskiness added for a touch of realism. -Both you and Scoff are to be commended as open-minded pioneers that broke the barries of race and culture! You guys need either a postage stamp or name a holiday after you two in your honor!

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  43.   RickHayes says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    I am a white man. Any black women want to swap mail IM rickhcoach@GOOGLE,COM

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  44.   ChocolateLady says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    @ Sarah That was nice, I'm Happy for you, and it's nice and it's refreshing to hear that you found love again. That means that I can keep hope alive. And it is a good idea to publish your work many single BW in our age group would love to hear this. May God Bless you with continues Happiness.

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  45.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    Ms. ChocolateLady Please bare with me on this, I've posted it one time, on only this site, you must be referring to when I met Scoff somewhere around 2006, on a road with my daughter with me. Really we were driving around after furneral. Also the one time I took my Grand-daughter to Scoff's house to pick up vegetables. We ended up having lunch, when we left I got the 20 questions from my Grand. Is Mr. Scoff a black man with blue eyes? Does he have a wife? Do you like him Nana? On and on with the questions... Then she sat silently for a little while, then out of no where she blurts, Nana looking at her I said what is it dear. Why don't you make Mr. Scoff your boy friend. Stunned for abit I finally calmly asked and why do say that. With a serious look, far too serious for a 5 year old. she stated matter of fact, he makes you laugh like when Popa was alive, you looked happy while we were there. I'm rather flatter that anyone could care about what happened that many years ago. Thank you Ms. Chocolate Lady, I really didn't ever plan on telling any one about that period in my life, only at the prompting by Scoff did I even start on this. Not being a writer, I'm just trying to put it all togeather in an understandable form. So please bare with me as sometimes I may have regress to catch up on apoint where I'm at. Love & God Bless Sarah

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  46.   ChocolateLady says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    Please finish the Story:) Also on another site you were telling the story that you had to tell your daughters about your new boyfriend but you did not tell them that he was white! Finish that also. You're good. You should publish this and send it to Essence or Ebony....

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  47.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    I know this is a repost; So please if you have so to say, already heard it before just scroll through it . Thank you Sarah Well, while I have some free time I'll post the part about the first kiss. Our ritual of meeting and talking flirting, ect had been going on about 3 or 4 weeks by now, still we had not let any real physical contact ocur, we laugh about this now how we both so scared to make a move. This all got started one day when one of the ladies I worked with whom I had become friends with began telling me about her time she spent up North, and how she dated several white men/boys. In the general disscussion she made the statement that she would never be with another white man. Of course this made my ears perk up and I had to ask why she felt that way. Her answer, was very disturbing in her last relationship with a white man she had asked him why he dated black women. I guess maybe he answered her question with a little too much honesty, that he dated black women because every one knew they like sex and where alot easier to get into bed than white women. Not letting it go he added we know you black women start having sex alot younger than white women. I was a little stunned by the whole explaination, and really up set to a certain extent, thinking is this all Scoff wants from me. As the day went on anger had set over me, when Scoff came by I ignored him, if I did speak to him it was in short snappy remarks. Trying to break the ice, he commented my Sarah you look sexy today, little did he know this just added fuel to my burning anger. Finally giving up he avoided me the rest of the day, around evening time, he came by my station, and dropped a note, as best that I can remember it went something like this. My Dearest Sarah, For some reason you are angry with me today, although I can think of nothing I did to offend you. I know our relationship is very strange, and at time times hard to make any sense of. Knowing that we at least can be friends would mean a great deal to me, even though I will miss your company, I can understand why you may feel the way you do. So if we must part lets part as friends. Love Scoff The note cooled my anger alittle bit and I thought, how sweet of him to at least try to understand how I felt. On about quitting time I noticed Scoff walk down to the fish pond, thinking I would like to talk to him, yes we could be friends then this whole crush/love or what ever would be over. At least my mind would loose some the guilt emotions I have been going through. Before I go any futher into this I should explain, I had kissed several boys before like all young people do, and had even french kissed one or two, didn't really like that part too much to be honest. So I slipped around the back way to meet him, of course he had no-way of knowing that I was coming as he sat on a log near the waters edge throwing bread to the fish. I must of stared at him for at least 5 minute before I called his name. Really I just wanted to run up to him and tell him how sorry I was for being so ugly to him today. Turning Scoff smiled saying oh Sarah, I'm so glad you came, I smiled as I said I got your note, and I'm so glad you understand what I feel. Walking up to him I stated so we can be friends, and not let things go any further. Notting his head he replied if thats what you want. Stepping closer I looked into his blue eyes, as I whispered it's best for both of us. Taking both of his hands in mine I leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek, well out lips met, both of startled as we stepped back. With a shocked look Scoff mumbled Sarah I'm so sorry. I looked at him for a few seconds then put my finger to his lips. This part I can't hardly believe what I said next, I'll be mad if you don't kiss me again. All the tension of our relationship for over past weeks was set free, we sat on that log for almost an hour touching each other, kissing cuddling as only two 16 year olds can do. As I walked home that evening I thought, what I'am to do in love with a white boy. At that age as we all know it is so easy to be blinded with emotions. Then reality set in as I thought OH MY God I kissed a white boy, what will people think. Thanks again to everyone for letting me share this, special time in my life. Love all of you & God Bless Sarah

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  48.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    Mr. Nawlunz; Thank you so much for compliments, in my younger day I had to do a lot of writing, as required om work. However since my retirement, I have become rather lazy, grammer + spelling at times leaves a lot to be desired. Scoff on the other hand writes in short bullet statements, (which drives me crazy), as a reflection of his workm in writing techinical type papers. Compared to some of our fellow bloggers, some days I feel rather lacking, I admire all of them for their writing skills. Again if some of you would rather not read this please scroll past it. One of the important part of our relationship is the time and age. I finally got it all down to more specfic dates, not that it is all that important, it just helps me when I try to reconstruct the events. Summer 1964 (16 years old) We mentioned earlier how we had started the mating ritual, (Scoff's term), so we started meeting different places around the farm when ever we could get a chance, using the pretense that I was to help Scoff with his math issue. We both knew that was an excuse, as at this time we both reliazed we had a crush on each other; it was just matter how far we were willing to take it. Thinking back, I just remember holding hands one time during this period, well to be honest I was still not very confortable with touching a white boy. Now I know that sounds so outdated in modern times, just remember our backgrounds. The thought of actually kissing a white boy was like something from outer space. Yes I was consumed with guilt about the whole affair, as I promised myself every day I would stop. This is just not right. Each day I went to work, with a sincere thought to tell Scoff, I would not see him anymore, even though we had not really had any physical contact or even expressed that we really liked each other. Then my heart always overruled my good sense, as I would meet with Scoff. Walking home I would go through the mental anguish, what if someone finds out I've been meeting with a white boy. Gritting my teeth I would say to myself, okay tomorrow that's it I'll end it. Okay enough for now I just don't want to tie up the site, there are other guest out there. I shortened this up some, but then it happened the KISS, so next time I'll tell you how that happened. Love and God Bliss Sarah

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  49.   ChocolateLady says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    Go for it Zetta2010 I'm surprized that you haven't been involved with a wm since you have been in a predominatley white location. Try it you might like it.

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  50.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    I second Nawlunzguy's welcome Zetta...... I only warn you that this is a very positive place and the majority of people here are supportive and like-minded (in term of inter-racial relationship.....that being said, please also be aware that there will be those that don't understand and seek to deter new comers. Stay the path and take them with a grain of salt and you will be ok. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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