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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8087 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 10

    I think everyone should go and see this movie.

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  2.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 10

    And it's one, two, three, strikes you're out at the ol' ball game! Sorry, that song is stuck in my head. I love baseball... Do you enjoy the sport, Joseph? I'll have to check those movies out @ChocolatLadi. The latter one intrigues me because I'm a native of New Orleans, but I have been wanting to see the former one mentioned. I've read a few pieces of history on TJ's romance with Sally Hemmings. The proof of the relationship is "strongly circumstantial" but quite convincing. It appears there's no formal records, and DNA tests have been argued both ways. It's the circumstances involving Sally's proximity to TJ and such factors as her children being freed when no others were, that seem to indicate there was a strong relationship of sorts. In fact, Sally Hemings and some of her siblings were the children of John Wayles, Thomas Jefferson's father-in-law. While I do not want to bring in the political or (im)moral circumstances that brought TJ and Sally together, I do think it demonstrates that interracial relationships have always existed, and will likely continue to exist. Basic laws of physics: Opposites attract and likes repel.

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  3.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 10

    Has anyone watched "Guess Who" - with Ashton Kutcher as Simon Green and Zoë Saldaña as Theresa Jones, along with Bernie Mac as Percy Jones, Theresa's father? I've heard mixed reviews. The movie you refer to F13 is entitled, "Things We Lost in the Fire" (2007). I've not seen it based on the subject matter. I'm more of a romance comedy guy; this movie seems to be a drama involving Audrey's (Halle Berry) loss of her husband, Brian (David Duchovny) and her strained relationship with her husband's friend, Jerry (Benicio del Toro) a heroin addict. While not a Black-White IR movie, "When Fools Rush In" with Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek, the film exemplifies cultural differences and is also a light-hearted romantic comedy.

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  4.   ChocolatLadi says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 10

    I think I had purchase the above movies from cheapmovies.com or columbiahouse.com I wouldn't spend more that $14 or $15 a piece for each movie.

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  5.   ChocolatLadi says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 10

    Hi Guys:) I have 2 good movies if you are interested, of coure they deal with IR BW and WM, they may be oldies but they are still relevent to the topic. Sallie Hemmens an American Scandal the Thomas Jefferson Story based in Va. and Feast of all Saints bases in N.O., La. Dealing with Placage relationships and the wonderful Creole, down there. If the President, Thomas Jefferson, one of the Founding Fathers of this country falls in love with a Black girl you know any normal non-black man can do the same. Monster's Ball also was mentioned a few weeks back that is another good one. I like that fact that each of them Halle Berry and Billie Bob Thornton had needed each other bec. they had both been going different trails and tribulations in their lives. It was good alos to listen to the commentaries from this movies also.

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  6.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 10

    Black women are great and have no flaws and all white guys should date them.

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    • shotgun007 says:
      Posted: 30 Aug 10

      I vote "serenity33 " for President!!! A lot of what you've posted makes perfectly good sense and I agree with a lot of what you've said. I agree a lot of black women are great.......hince, I happen to be one :)! Take Care! Shotgun007

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  7.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    Hey guys...another good movie that features an interracial relationships is "Things that got lost in the fire" starring Halle Berry and I forgot the lead guys name....it is a very good movie. I like it most because the characters didn't have hangups about race...this is a gotta see it movie.

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    • laprincess01 says:
      Posted: 27 Aug 10

      Hi Friendly, the dude's name that starred alongside Halle Berry is Benicio del Torro, I've never seen the movie but thanks for the referral.

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  8.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    Hey everyone....glad to see that there are still whitemen who love the blackwomen out there. I have been enjoying the comments made...I don't want everyone to forget about me because I love the whiemen who love the blackwomen....I remeber when it seemed like there weren't any but now the whitemen who love the blackwomen are speaking up...thanks a bunch. It is encouraging. @cakelady1, Don't be discouraged...sometimes villans sneak in to take us off our topic. But hang in there because we need you and others who enjoy this topic. @ James Thanks a bunch.

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  9.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    I think as individuals we need to get beyond this idea and notion that we're somehow 'different' - we're not really, except in outer physical appearances. We all possess human traits: desire, love, anger... We are all 'constructed' similarly: # of arms, hands, feet, legs... Science, through worldwide DNA sampling and testing*, is revealing that we do have common ancestry and that it has been our environment that has altered the outer physical traits we now classify as Black, Asian, Hispanic and Caucasian. There's truly no such thing as a 'pure' race; we're all "mutts" and need to embrace this. *In the field of human genetics, "Mitochondrial Eve" refers to the most recent common matrilineal ancestor from whom all living humans are descended. All humans alive today share a surprisingly recent common ancestor, perhaps even within the last 5,000 years, even for people born on different continents. The fact is, we are all "brothers and sisters" guys 'n gals.

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  10.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    @bellelicious - To address your comment, "is is/has anyone experienced any of the [inherent] “so-called” issues that interracial relationships" appear to have. My answer would be affirmative. IR dating has involved different experiences for me in New Orleans, which varied from Houston, and differed in a smaller community in Louisiana, Mostly what I experienced was the 'appearance' of acceptance in the larger metropolitan areas, and a lack of acceptance in the small community. In fact, I think the reason I enjoyed "Something New", was that I was able to identify with what Simon (Brian) went through in the film. I'm laid back, open and accepting, and was taught to encourage diversity all my life, much like his character. But the scenes in which he is with her black friends seemed all too familiar: I was exposed to 'suspicion' and comments as to 'why' I was involved with a black woman. There were the 'humorous' jokes made at my expense, and at times, topics of conversation were baffling and unfamiliar to me. The film made a valid point: I didn't know I possessed a certain skin color until in a room of folks with different skin tones. Was it uncomfortable? Of course. And while, to some degree it bothered me, I never let it show and shrugged it off as 'ignorance' (not in a demeaning manner). It's difficult for me to understand bias or discrimination because those were never 'learned' attitudes, values or beliefs. I have always looked 'inwards' at a person and saw past 'color'. That doesn't mean I'm color blind; I can differentiate between hues of black, brown and amber. But it's the personality traits that I focus on while still appreciating the outer beauty of my partner/date.

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  11.   sweetness102 says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    I enjoyed reading your post and you are right about many of our black brothers. If you fall in love with someone from another race fine. Love has no bounds or colors.

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  12.   cakelady1 says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    I have read all the posting and I must say the subject got lost in the sauce. The person who posted the question wanted feedback. To answer your question I have been told by several white men and they say that "black women are assertive, know what we want, loyal, loving, passionate, and compassionate". The posting describes me and my personality. I take that as a compliment and am glad to be viewed in a positive light. There are a lot of sterotypes about black women being controlling and rude. That may be true in some cases but most of us are educated and want someone who compliments our accomplishments. We want men that are our equal and I find that has been my experience and wish all much success in finding that special person. PS TRY TO STAY ON THE TOPIC

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  13.   summerbluez says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    @ MsF8th7 My sista.... I respect most of what you have commented on; but for you to say that "MOST RELATIONSHIPS" during slavery was "CONSENSUAL" is unbelievably atrocious. There can be no " REAL" love in a servant / master type relationship. When some one can at his / her any whim...rape you, humiliate you, beat you, lynch you and not suffer any ramifications and consequences, for their un-human actions, My Sista....that can never be true love. The Bible says, there can be no true love in fear. Let me ask you a question, Do you think there were perverts, child molesters, pedophiles and rapist (monsters) back in those days?....I submit to you, Yes....Yes unequivocally there were. In my humble opinion, a true and genuinely consensual relationship, can never exist with someone who owns you / me. When a master can at any given time, day or night; come to your house, and rape you in front of your children, in front of your husband / man, and there is not a thing he can do about it, Why? because "you be massa property". "And you better pretend you like it" !!! By the tender age of 15yrs...my Sista, most girls were already violated, and used for breeding purposes. Forget about child protection, it was open season for pedophiles 24/7, 365 days year round. At 8, 9 years old and younger, mothers were already instructing their little girls (Oh! and boys) these babies, on what do do when massa approaches you. How best to arch your body, so as to cause you less damage at such a tender age...and my Sista, I am being very tame with my use of words and adjectives here. It is no coincidence of the correlation between this " Consensual Love" during slavery, and the ravages and results of the misappropriation of these actions today. My Sista,....teenage pregnancy, the emasculation of our fathers, brothers, uncles.....these are real. Real and dire issues as a result of that " Consensual Love". May I suggest, in love, that you look-up Dr. Joy Leary DeGuiy's: Slavery: Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. You are my Sister! I love you with the love of Christ, Be Blessed.

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  14.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    @MsF8th7 - I enjoyed your comments and was delighted to see we both share origins: I was born, raised and educated in New Orleans as well. I had a chance to watch "Something New", the IR movie with Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker (Kenya & Brian). [I forget who on this blog suggested this to me, but VERY happy they did.] At the time of this writing, I now own a copy of the film and have enjoyed viewing it several times. While I cannot speak for Sanaa's portrayal, I can empathize with Simon's character. The movie is a delight to watch and should be an inspiration to all. I found myself sharing "Brian's" frustrations and ideology and loved the way the writers and producers allowed the lives of "Kenya and Brian" to intertwine and develop. I thought the movie helped to expose some of the differences in our two cultures and yet, allowed the movie's message to be revealed: love has no color. Acceptance, respect, patience, and love based on solid friendship is key to an endearing relationship.

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  15.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    Black women are great and have no flaws and all white men should try and date them.

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  16.   bellelicious says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    @ Newawlunzguy...Thanks for the update!

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  17.   bellelicious says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 10

    To everyone here who is currently actively dating or involved (engaged, married)...I'd love to hear how you met your significant other and di dyu go through the "so-called" issues that interracial relationships as labelled to come with? I love a good love story!! I'm all ears... :-)

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  18.   MsF8th7 says:
    Posted: 25 Aug 10

    Wow! This is kinda crazy...? From an intelligent, educated, HAPPY "Black" woman's perspective, I have a problem with the divisions between peoples. For me, if you're not an angry ogre and exhibit qualities like; Integrity of Character, respect, stability, loyalty, honesty and monogamy, sense of humor and compassion; You could be purple, green and blue with orange stripes, if you possess these qualities, you're good to go in my books. See, I grew up in New Orleans and along the MS. Gulf coast. The complexity of culture is so apparent there, that our sub-cultures are all mixed up like a perfect salad. I am black like the night. My sister is a Caucasian-looking woman with green eyes and red hair. We knew no "color" differences, our differences came in the grand social perceptions of other peoples. We never knew who was truly "white", nor did we care. Everyone has the same basic needs and Love just happens to be color blind. We were taught: "You can't help who your heart loves" and to never be ashamed of your dating choices based on color. That's too disgusting to even need explanation. From the another hand though, Sociologically speaking to bring you out da box, In the south interracial dating is not new. Massah always had some Brown shugga somewhere and Mrs. Massah had some too. (I'm not speaking to the negative sides of that history like wars and crazy raper-peoplez ok) But, Most of the relationships(arguably) and contrary to history's writers beliefs, were consensual. It was good then (ask Thomas Jefferson if he had a problem) so, what's changed in my opinion is that we are willingly ready to love out loud instead of in the bushes or the shed behind the house. We are proud to say we have options in dating as opposed to opposition(s).... The times we live in makes the playing fields more even as we all are suffering for a love that won't tuck tail and run at the first sign of danger or difference. Why then can't we lift each other up in Love and stop trying to analyze everything based on things that won't feed, clothe, educate and bring peace nor love to one another. That's why we're here right to find that precious Love that makes our light shine more brightly.

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    • MsF8th7 says:
      Posted: 25 Aug 10

      **Important Note** "The thing that's too disgusting to even need explanation." is out of place. The racial differences in dating and how we're treated because of our choices as judged by the general consensus over time is what that refers too.

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  19.   ChocolatLadi says:
    Posted: 25 Aug 10

    I agree with you Nawl. So with that Scoo/Sarah please finish the Saga .... Thanks for the 2 flirts:)

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  20.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 25 Aug 10

    What else are you going to eliminate in the discussion? Politics and Morality have a lot to do many times with why people go towards a certain ethnic group. And culturally speaking, even Fox news says that Muslim is not a religion but a race. Islam is a religion so get used to it being brought up because it is a cultural thing. So I have very right to bring up Muslims, morality and politics because they all have to do with in some way why white men love black women. I am leaving religion out but don't try and coerce me to exclude these. Plus if you actually understood what I was saying in my last post, I was talking pure philosophy with no religion or morality or anything in it and there was no ridicule there. I simply stated that I agreed with the Muslim culture and demonstrated the level of intellect and education that I wanted it a woman. So there was no insult there whatsoever. Also for the record, anyone that knows psychology remotely well knows that Chemistry is a fallacy that has been scientifically proven to be wrong by tons of studies and just perpetuated by our media and society to give yet another game for people to play with each other to try and put some mystery into their lovelives. At most it is pheromone based like animals which shows what level the individual is at on Kohlberg's and Fowler's scale of moral development but other than that, it is just a way to cover up the shallow fact that the one's with chemistry find each other physically attractive and don't want to put it off as something shallow like looks consciousness. When I woman says they don't feel chemistry with you, it translates usually into they don't find you physically attractive. Simple outcome proved by many psychological studies. Or am I not allowed to bring psychology up either since it is the number one factor one why White men like Black women? Joseph Moyer

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  21.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 10

    @friendly13 - Good to see you dropping by. Hope your family, school and remodelling activities don't keep you away. I've always enjoyed reading your comments on IR. And you're correct, WM do love BW and that 'special someone' is out there for you. It's just a matter of time. @bellelicious - Hang in there. I've been assured by those that are moderating the forum(s) that they are aware of the issue and are indeed trying to regain control of the forum(s). In fact, the reason why you must now wait for your post to be reviewed before becoming permanent is such an example. Don't give up; share your thoughts. @Scoff/Sarah - Can't wait for the "Train Station" portion of your story. I think I can speak for most here - we love the tale about you and Scoff. Take care all!

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  22.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 10

    I joined this post to discuss IR, NOT politics, NOT religion, NOT morality. PLEASE stick to the subject. If you have NOTHING to offer on "Why white men love the black woman", then don't comment.

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  23.   John8870 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 10

    Joseph, ridiculing Friendly is not the proper thing to do. You really need to get a woman in your life or some other interest. Friendly merely identified her religious affiliation, she wasn't trying to start another topic not related to why white men love black women. Religious affiliation is a characteristic, and an important one. Most dating websites have a box to identify this characteristic because it is an important one. I, for one, will not be interested in a woman who claims to be atheist, agnostic, Wiccan, New Age, or Moslem. The reason is that I don't want a life with a mate that I am constantly in turmoil with. You've stated the characteristics you are looking for and nobody has condemned you for that. It's only when you try to turn this forum into a pulpit that you encounter resistance. Are you really searching for somebody to share your life with or just trying to raise a ruckus?

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  24.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 10

    Besides moral standards of women we want to date, some of us would like the intellectual and wisdom quotient to be higher on the women we date. I would like a woman who understands that everyone would have an easier time in life if they used circumambulation of communal subjective reality in order to figure out a higher probability of what objective reality is in order to increase the number of Gestalt “Ahas” and increase their enlightenment to the point where they can still hold each other accountable without restricting other people’s equality as long as it doesn’t interfere with your hierarchy of graded absolutism which people have forgotten in their quest for hyper-subjectivism in order to ease their guilty consciences. If people did that, then we would all get along better and interracial dating wouldn’t be such a problem nor would many other things. A woman that was educated enough to realize this deep truth, no matter what her race would be a woman that I would be interested in.:-) This would be a woman that I could get intimate with(nothing sexual) on a deeper level and I could truly share my deepest thoughts and emotions with while all others would fall short regardless of their race. Like I said, if a woman of any race would embrace this concept and live by it(not a religious statement) then race becomes a moot point and all discrimination would not be prepotent and therefore not a problem. Joseph Moyer

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  25.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 10

    @ 2sexyb I hear you....I am glad that you are blessed and have the opportunity to wait until you meet the right person for marriage...none of what I said was directed at you....the life that you have is the same as what I want for my two grown daughters....to wait. I hope you find a wonderful white man if you haven't already....peace.

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  26.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 10

    Been studying...haven't gone anywhere. I like the new scene. I am a Christian. I respect others that believe differently but don't respect people who bash me because they think they will bring a negative focus on me for whatever reason. One thing that I have found from this site is that white men really do love the black women. The thing that is the hardest for me is finding one that has the chemistry factor. I know that there is someone for me I just have to wait for him. The one that is serious will not take me for granted. He will love me and my children.

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  27.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 10

    What is up with this stuff about women who have children and choosing paths and religion stuff....Stop meddling and get back on the subject...if a man doesn't want to date a woman like me with children then they can find women who don't have them....women like me have options....I have a job, education, have been married now divorced, have had children before marraige, still bought a house and take care of my family.....I am glad I have my children.....I don't care what anyone thinks about me or them.....women with children still have options and don't have to pay attention to people who want to harp on the statistics and people putting them down...it does not good. Move on.

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    • babydiva says:
      Posted: 29 Aug 10

      I'm a city girl from a very diverse community. Therefore, I grew up around various races and cultures. I'm young, black, educated, open minded, no children, not married yet. I have girlfriends from different ethnic, social, and cultural backgrounds. Most of them are educated, one or two are still in school, some of my girls have children, some don't, some had them had them young, others waited until they felt fully prepared, some gave birth in marriage, others gave birth out of wedlock. The common thread between all of us is that we respect ourselves, we are confident, and we attract men (sometimes other women LOL). My point is, NO woman deserves to be disrepected or denied options simply because of her age, race, income, or marital / parental status. We as women, are all valuable in our own individual way. We are QUEENS and deserve to be treated as such. We cant allow men to label and grade us, as if we were pieces of meat. It's not 1900, its 2010. Behind every great man, you'll always find a strong beautiful woman. PEACE. LOVE :)

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  28.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 10

    Vision2020, what you say might be true for some guys but for guys like me who have a certain moral code, to have children outside of marriage would indicate that you don't have the personality qualities that I am looking for in the morality department. And to point a fact, the Muslim "culture"(not referring to religion because it is a culture in and of itself and should be treated that way especially those who think a Mosque shouldn't be built near ground zero because of the Muslim culture, not religion) would stone women who have children out of wedlock and dress as shamefully immoral as American women dress. I am not saying that we should go that cultural extreme but it proves my point that other cultures that aren't American would say those women in question are lacking what they are looking for in a person morally so they do not have the personality qualities that they desire. If I see a woman dress in a sleezy way or know they have children out of wedlock,, I won't stone them but like the Muslim culture, I would agree that they do not possess the personality qualities in morality that I am looking for. And like I said that it shouldn't matter what race a woman is from in order for you to date them, I still stand by that and think interracial dating is fine. But then again any female of any race is except from my selection if they dress and act in a fashion that shows they don't have the morality in their personality that I require in a partner. So I am not being racist at all and assess all women equally regardless of their race and totally on their personality. Joseph Moyer

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  29.   Vision2020 says:
    Posted: 23 Aug 10

    I guess the above peoples views are based on what is happening in the U.S. I am located in Zimbabwe, culture does have an effect on how society turns out. serentiy33 mentioned about the culture in the middle-east and how it could change our mindset if we stayed there a while. I agree. it's obviously all to do with globalisation I think. we tend to take-on a world norm if I can call it. So many factors lead to why a person finds he or herself in a situation. I just think it wouldnt be too right to worry too much on whether a person has children or not, yes they are important and have an effect on the relationship but if it lowers a person's rating....simply put don't be put off. I could easily have had children myself, but have the qualities you are looking for.

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  30.   bellelicious says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 10

    BTW I am new to this forum...I find most of the topics in this forum very interesting except the religious preachings that have been going on in here but hey life goes on.

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  31.   bellelicious says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 10

    In my last post I meant to say..."Many black women do have children at a young age and although alot of them are great MOTHERS" lol (but I accidentally typed "others")

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  32.   bellelicious says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 10

    I totally agree with you 2sexyb!! Many black women do have children at a young age and although alot of them are great others, having children very young does hinder you from goign out there and enjoying the things that life has to offer. Education being one of them. Alot of young mothers dont even have the time and/or money to think about going to college and its ok when the baby is still a baby but it becomes a big problem in 12 years when your child can fend for themselves and you realize that you want to change careers. That is why its important to educate your children at a young age about the importance of education as it can open many doors. Unfortunately, if a black woman isnt educated or have some sort of solid trade/business going on, you arent as respected as your uneducated caucasian female peers. But watch how most black male athletes run and take these uneducated caucasian women (as if they are so much better-they will sue you too during a divorce just like a sister would lol) and make them wifey while you'd hardly ever see a white male athlete take an uneducated black female and make her wifey. We loose on all aspects and for those reasons, I intentionally made a conscious decision to educate myself as much as I can and stay ambitious more than average. I realized that has earned me more respect than I could have ever asked for but its the truth in our harsh world. I am only saying this because I see alot of sisters dating out of their race as they feel it would "create their identity" where as your real idenetity is what you make of yourself. I am totally down with interrcaial relationships as I feel its time for us to stop waiting for that "brother" to look our way when we could define our own happiness and find love else where. Lets break down the barriers and not limit ourselves. INTTERACIAL RELATIONSHIPS ROCK!! (but remember they also have their ups and downs)

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  33.   2sexyb says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 10

    It is very unfortunate that so many men and women have children early. Yes black women often have children out of wedlock, out of job, no education, etc. Most of the white and biracial women who choose black men in my area have a lot of children from many different fathers. Fortunately, I chose a different path. I am free and single and without children. It seems though that a lot of men are in a situation where they are divorced with minor children that they must continue to parent whether or not their children live with them or not. When a woman without children does not want a man with children it's considered to be "shocking" or selfish. I feel it boils down to "are you honestly free to pursue a relationship without compromising your standards?"

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  34.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 10

    I'm so sorry in taking so long to get back with you folks, as I've been helping getting my grand daughters ready for school. Now that can wear a person out. So hopefully, sometime over this weekend I can finish up our conversation at the Trailways station, as the record goes that was the last conversation we had until Oct. 2005. I knew this sounds so strange to some of the younger generation, at times we have to just trust that God has a plan for us. Love & may God bliss each of you Love Sarah

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  35.   John8870 says:
    Posted: 20 Aug 10

    SweetAttny, I like how you think. It has been my observation that so many more black women than white women have strong Christian values, and many I have come into contact with are even pastors. I suppose that is one of my attractions toward them. Oh, I realize there are many who are not that committed, too, but overall it seems that the black women I have come in contact with have been. I think one thing Serenity33 is hiding is that by claiming to be Anabaptist he is not referring to himself as how the majority of US citizens know them. That would be Amish or Mennonite. If you consider that, then, it explains a lot of his beliefs. They may be different than ours, but they are not wrong. What is wrong, in my opinion, is his usage of a dating site like this one, and others, when the vast majority of the population do not follow the same values as he. When we reach an age beyond our late 20's, most available women will have children. That's just the way our society has become. For a man to not understand this and accept it greatly limits his chance of success. It's called "baggage" and most of us, black, white, red, yellow, pink, or green have it in some form or the other. As for myself, I have a daughter. Any woman I develop a relationship is expected to understand that and accept it if she wants me to feel the same about her children, if she has any. That's just life.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 21 Aug 10

      I have met my share of black women that were Christians but they were all happily married in a Christlike marriage. I haven't seen that on this website. So all the Christlike black women are pretty much taken as they get married, have kids and have good Christian families and not illegitimate kids. Some of my best friends were Black pastors(all male because Anabaptists don't believe in female pastors which is Biblical if you look it up) but their wives were strong leaders in the church, just as strong as their husbands who were Pastors or stronger. They didn't need the title of Pastor to validate their role in leadership as Christians in the church. As a matter of fact, the best church I ever went to was an all black church in Baltimore that was Presbyterian. They accepted me and pastor Jones was and incredible man and so was his wife and incredible leader and wife. They treated me very well and were all highly educated including the congregation so they didn't discriminate against me because I was white but embraced the fact that I was a fellow Christian that was knowledgeable and educated in the Bible. There is a new revival of people like me who aren't happy with the Mennonites and don't want to give up their technology to become Amish who have gone back to their Anabaptist roots and now call themselves Anabaptists. There aren't many but we exist. And I know that the general population on here doesn't follow the same values as me but as a marriage counselor and premarital counselor, I base my views on statistics as well from psych abstracts and even non-Christians that are educated in Psychology agree with my views on marriage etc., just without Christianity as a basis but mental health and functionality in a relationship as their basis and how messed up the kids are becoming statistically because of single parent homes. And like I said, that is based on studies, not religion. Study the Emo population of youth and their surge back to nihilism and hedonism because they are disillusioned with their parent and society and don't think that there is any meaning in life like nihilists feel. They don't have the guidance to go to the next step of Nihilism which leads to Existentialism which provides meaning in life. So yes, I know that virtually no one on this site shares my values or views but they won't even accept scientific data by non-Christians and blame all my views on my Christianity when that is a misnomer. And yes, Sociologists and Psychologists both agree that women will have children by their late 20's but they say it is a flaw in our society that is causing it to crumble statistically. I am trying to reach anyone who still hasn't totally been brainwashed and indoctrinated by society into doing psychologically unhealthy things like having illegitimate children so there won't be that baggage brought into any relationship. We don't have to be drones of society but can have free will to fight societal values and develop deeper ones even if they aren't Christian but just ones that are psychologically healthy as pointed out by all the thousands of studies done. If I can talk just one female from having kids before marriage or sex before marriage as our hedonistic cultures wants us to do, then I will have accomplished something good. Why do you think I am in marriage and premarital counseling. Because I am trying to help people become more psychologically healthy and not have baggage in their marriages and make kids suffer but instead, have couples work out the baggage that they have from growing up first and then they can have a happy and psychologically healthy marriage and not get divorced. Fight the power and be different. There are many morally good people that aren't Christians who wait until marriage to have kids or to have sex so it doesn't have to based on Christianity although it does help to have that support group of other Christians to help you be counter cultural during moments of weakness when you want to conform just to fit in or give into hedonism because of inherent self-centeredness. So anyone can keep criticizing me if they want to and they just show me that I shouldn't waste my time with them because they have given up and given into corrupt societal values. It is the ones who aren't gone yet that I am trying to reach. I wouldn't be a good marriage or premarital counselor if I didn't at least try despite the overwhelming odds against me. I have reached one person who I talk privately to and Lord willing, maybe I will reach at least a few more. People in interracial marriages have enough trouble from society without having more baggage of illegitimate kids causing more baggage for them and for their kids. Joseph Moyer

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  36.   blm70 says:
    Posted: 20 Aug 10

    @s33 - date younger. Probably more non-mothers on teeny bopper sites. I would expect most women in my dating range would have already had children. ~kev

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 21 Aug 10

      Right on blm70. This site is terrible for trying to find someone without kids. I have studied literally thousands of profiles female profiles on here and easily 80 percent or more have kids. You might have to go to teeny bopper sites or one of the sites that allows you to eliminate the ones who have kids in your search. But it is almost impossible to find a any women in your age range that doesn't have kids, especially illegitimate ones. And it is pretty much every race on this website except Asians which tend to be career centered more and put off having families and kids until later. I would say good luck to anyone trying to find a female without kids on this site. Joseph Moyer

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 22 Aug 10

      BLM70, I think certain willful females that are fickle in their relationships and are spoiled should be sent to the middle Eastern Muslim countries to see how good they have it with American men. Give them a year there and their attitude would change drastically and they wouldn't be so quick to take American men of any race for granted when they see how bad the Muslim women in the Middle East have it!!;-) Plus it would cut down drastically on illegitimate kids and divorces because women that are caught fooling around before marriage there would get stoned to death!! And divorce is almost unheard of, you are forced to stick it out!! So if that were the policy here, this website would be full of virgins no matter what age they were!!;-) Joseph Moyer

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  37.   blm70 says:
    Posted: 20 Aug 10

    Watching "Diary of a Tired Black Man" on SHO. Anyone see that? Comments? Perhaps a rebuttal from the very women I want to woo? ~kev

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  38.   SweetAttny says:
    Posted: 19 Aug 10

    I rarely post on blogs, but Serenity33 comments really sadden me that it was hard to resist. Let it be known that whatever point a person is in life and no matter how many mistake you have made, knowingly or unknowinngly, there is peace with God through Jesus Christ. If any be in Christ he is a new creation, old things have passed away - behold all things become knew! My life has totally change since becoming a Christians and it is people like Serenity33 that keep many people out of the church!!! We are suppose to draw people through the light of Christ in us NOT push them away. It is religious finatics that do know have the compassion of Christ who wear a christian label, but do not know how to demonstrate the love of God that causes a people to stay in negative situations instead of knowing the joy that comes with being a Christian. Not everyone was born into Christianity and not everyone had righteous role models, but thanks be to God that we can all be accepted in the Beloved. I true relationship starts with being kind, understanding, thoughtful and caring. As a successful black woman, who has a child and loves the Lord greatly, I know that I am destined to meet the right guy. I hope for the best for each and everyone of you!!! Carpe Diem!!!

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  39.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 19 Aug 10

    I have studied hundreds and hundreds of profiles on this website and as much as I would love to be a white man with a black female, I am not willing to sacrifice my principles and go for someone who is either divorced with kids or has kids out of wedlock which is over 80 percent of the women of all races on this site. That is not an insult but an observation. And there are plenty of horny guys from all races that are ready to provide that for a pretty girl. Again, this isn't criticism but just a sociological and psychological assessment of most women, not all, that are on this site and many studies back up that women are like this in general and men play the game and are just as much to blame. And honesty and accountability is almost unheard of most of the time. And people should keep many of their comments to private messages to other people rather than post it on the blog unless their is no other way to reach the person than posting it publicly. That's why I always make sure to answer all my messages that I receive and welcome private messages over posting on the blog. So if my standards mean that I will never end up with a lady of color, then I am quite willing to accept that fact because at least I can be at peace at night when I sleep or look in the mirror.:-) I wish I could hear more about the successful white men with black women couples on this blog for that is much more uplifting.:-)

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  40.   looking4life says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    there is one lady i met on here that i viewed as i do with many other bloggers because i like her posts. she is a very kind caring and gentle spirit but i am not quite in her criteria(sucks to be me). every woman is perfect ...for someone... maybe not me but for someone. people of any race can be offensive we all know that but why are some trying to make things harder when we all gather here for a common purpose? i enjoy reading posts by tatt, freindly, darkbeauty, godiva, sternandbeautiful, ich, danny, mark, 85k, nawl and so we all hang on scoff/sarah . i hope to gain insight into the past that i cant read in a book, as well as seeking a future mate. sicerely, anthony

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  41.   James says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    Guys! Whilst it's great to see all your remarks here, it's important to stay on topic and please please please leave the personal attack, discussions about religion, politics etc. on some other forum. If you wish to have flaming wars please take it to a newsgroup or something, I would hate to have to block some of the more frequent posters because they can't get on. This topic is about Why White Men Love Black Women. Not who fell asleep on the phone, saying bye, saying Hi etc. If you gots nothing good to say then probably best to say nothing!

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  42.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    @dannyco56 - It's been a while; good seeing you drop by. The "gas station ladies" scenario is akin to @markinnnh finding love at KMart. You just never know where (or when) cupid will strike.

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  43.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    I am against premarital sex totally for that reason and others but that is all my opinion so please don't anyone go ballistic over it. It is just my opinion as a person and a marriage and premarital counselor. I am not looking for an argument. Just agreeing with Anthony.:-) Joseph Moyer

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  44.   dannyco56 says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    @Newawlunzguy Change say to saw.

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  45.   dannyco56 says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    Good morning to friendly13, tatted2death, bigeyes31, Bamababe2k9, Godiva61, Newawlunzguy and all the newcomers who have posted recently. I will check in now and then to see who is posting and see if some of my old friends are still around and say hello but will not be posting regularly. I see that I was one of those who was who were censored and my 1st post since returning was removed. @Mark I have enjoyed your story Mark about you and your fiancee I wish you and your fiancee the best. @Scoff/Sarah Hope you will continue your story soon. Have enjoyed it so much. @friendly13 Good seeing your posts again and hope that you find a man that will love you unconditionally and endlessly. @Newawlunzguy I never did respond to you about these beautiful ladies I say at a gas station. But you have to keep your eyes open even beautiful women have to stop for fuel....LOL :-) God Bless! Danny

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  46.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    Hey everyone! This place is becoming interesting again,lol. I only pop in here or there and this is what I like to read. Markinnh,lash,scoff and sarah you guys keep telling us your stories.Markinnh that was great.

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  47.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    Hey friendly13, I wish you all the best luck and happiness in your relationship.:-) Sincerely, Joseph Moyer

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  48.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    @blm70 - Just ignore those that can't appreciate your hamppiness Kev. You ARE obviously the better man for it.

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  49.   Newawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    Hi all. @markinnnh - I enjoyed reading your post and want to thank you for sharing. @Lash - Ditto on your shared story as well. It's nice to see the blog returning to the topic at hand and learning of present day IR successes. @serenity33, - ¡No digas pendejadas!

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  50.   blm70 says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    @mark. got the same reaction as you a few times, my response was a s**t eating grin, as in hey buddy, apparently only one of us is capable of handling her. Call it their closeted interracial envy. ~kev

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