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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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  1.   Gelassenheit says:
    Posted: 22 Jun 11

    I'm a WM, who recently found this thread, and wanted to add my experiences. Most of the above posts, are very positive, and I applaud every one of them for being honest and heartfelt. I fell in love with an amazing woman, many years ago. We were married for over 18 years, before she was called to lay down her burdens, and go back to the creator. I remain humbled and amazed, that she entrusted me with her heart, for all of those years. The simple fact is, that there was alot of love, and she just happened to be a BF. Race didn't rule or ruin the it, it was just part of the tapestry we made together. Respect the person and yourself first, enjoy our your differences. Oh, and worship every inch of her, because she deserves it. Peace, acceptance and hard work.

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    • Dannyco56 says:
      Posted: 28 Jul 11

      Gelassenheit, I am sorry for your loss of your love and hope that you have found comfort in the special love that you both shared. God Bless!

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  2.   Ledea says:
    Posted: 21 Jun 11

    I'm a bw in her mid-thirties who always admired wm but the most part of my dating history was exclusively with bm. Most of the reason was that I was born and raised in a part of Africa where there were only bm and when I eventually move to a western country, I still only dated bm because, firstly, I guess I felt a bit insecure and thought that wm wouldn't understand me. Secondly, coming from a culture which puts a lot of emphasis on women being conservative, I was used to having men approach me (which I find bm do much more, while wm seem to need flashing green light signals to know I won't bite their head off if they say hello). I have now gotten over my insecurities as I have now realised that wm seem to understand me quite well, and even better than my African brothers ever could. I must point out that there is a very big cultural difference, but it's one that suits me just fine because for the first time, I feel really loved, appreciated, respected and the best part is I'm now able to be treated as an equal human being and not taken for granted. I'm no longer pressured by my community to give up my dreams and aspirations in favour of the happiness of an emotionally unresponsive partner. Coming from a country where men walk ten paces ahead of their wives and there is little or no display of affection (i've never seen my parents kiss or hold hands, or even hug eachother ever) I always wondered if something was wrong with me because I seem to need that close bond, connection, affection and company that bm are unable, or unwilling to give. Furthermore, the stereotypes about bm's sexuality is the most twisted urban myth I've ever heard. I can not generalize because everyone's experience is difference. Some of my friends argue that in our culture the men take care of the women, African men always pay the bill when you go out, but a lot of white men will split the bill when you are dating. This is true to an extent, but in a relationship where a woman is dependant but has to pay for that dependance by loosing her individuality, pride and self-worth, I'd rather split the bills and have someone who values my individuality and encourages me to excell in all my aspirations. All I can say is that now that I've gone white, I don't think I will be going back :-)

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    • Dannyco56 says:
      Posted: 28 Jul 11

      Ledea, I am glad to hear that your experience in the west has been good and I hope that you have continued success in what ever you do. I hope that you find the one who will love you forever. God Bless!

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  3.   WarmHeart11 says:
    Posted: 14 Jun 11

    Could not agree anymore with the article. You have manage to convey a point to the masses that i have been trying to for sometime. Personally my preference is Caucasian Men. Now i don't have anything against Black men. My father is a black man, my brother is a black man. At the age of 19 i got married and by the age 21 close to 22 i was divorced, to a white man. Not because we didn't love each other or all the horrible things. It's just that we didn't take time to know each other. An quite frankly looking back at it now i don't think that we both were ready. An to this day he still keeps telling his friend or whomever "Once you go black you don't go back". Cause like all race of women we do have our downfalls. However to stereotype a whole race and gender is just wrong and stupid. I would like to think that we are nurturing... Yes that right nurturing and there is still allot of black women that have morals, self respect the whole nine yards!!! You never know till you try. Don't listen to rumors. Let your opinion be formed by your own experiences.. p.s. WHITE MEN ROCK :)

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    • onetreehill says:
      Posted: 20 Jun 11

      WarmHeart11, I don't know how old or how mature you are, but let me enlighten you just a little. Your comment, "WHITE MEN ROCK" . May be the white men that you have encountered or experienced "ROCK". Your statement in inclusive of all white. The reality is that not all white men "ROCK". Every ethnic group has less appealing males.

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  4.   ivorycelt says:
    Posted: 12 Jun 11

    To Black women - To those at least who think you are the same as white women! How on earth can you be the judge? How many women have you dated ehh? Trust me, there are common differences which are both subtle and huge - if you want to know, ask a man!! How could your opinion be better qualified than a mans? For any woman to make a comment, can only be speculation and conjecture - and we know where that kind of thinking belongs. Black / white = different, get over it. And don’t just get over it, but acknowledge fully and celebrate it! To those who say Black/White are the same, that’s being a bit simplistic or rather focusing on something that is not relevant. It can be said that all people, all humans Men and Women are they same (under the skin) - But people, we are not talking about spirituality or consciousness where 'all is one' - No, we are talking about the physical world that is defined by duality and differences - is almost the definition of definition! So, in the world of ‘one love’ – there is nothing but one love - and nothing more need be said. In the ‘real world’ where we exist in the world of actions and interactions - our egos’ have to deal with all sorts of issues and everyone on this page could argue and debate our differences forever. – Duality/ differences are the foundation of ‘life’ action/ re-action Anyway - In my observation of the world (lol) I have noticed that people with darker pigments seem to be treated differently. How this came to be I have no real idea – I personally think that says more about the subjective lower consciousness making the view, but anyway, that is how it is, the world is what it is. So if you agree with that view? Then you have to agree that the pigment person experiences, has to face and deal with, a whole different bunch of issues in life. Generally speaking, the Black Woman – at least a good number of you, have come out on top (so to speak!) You have faced ‘stuff’ that the average white person didn’t/doesn’t have to deal with – how could you not become a stronger more confident and self loving, self reliant person? (Assuming you didn’t fully crack in the process and fail) For that, I am in total awe and admiration – Respect where it is due and I love you all – Black Women – WOW So shut up about being ‘same’ go for it – BE BLACK! (classicshock-nr top-niceone!)

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    • Darlinu says:
      Posted: 18 Jun 11

      I hope they heard you. It bothers me too, when sisters don't celebrate their differences and realize those differences are beautiful. Thanks for telling them what I have been dying to tell them, only could not articulate as well as you..... Peace!

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    • kissme18 says:
      Posted: 13 Aug 11

      Yes we've indured a lot more hardship as black women and thanx for the kind words and admiration . This is sorta shocking to ackowledge the fact that a white man is writting this thanxs again its sweet of u.

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    • NomadicRN says:
      Posted: 18 Sep 11

      You appear to be an insightful and conscious brother. Your comments are appreciated

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  5.   ELodie says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 11

    i don't know, maybe its me-but i find Caucasian men much more,i don't know, gentle.Caring.Able to express themselves as to how they feel about one and that in a sweet way. AM I the only one? if any one out there has had different experiences, please educate me! i think that is why black ladies are so looking for white spouses. Just the thought that you could spend your life with a kindness your mother and grandmother never thought possible is enough to make any rational human being -and not just a black one at that-seek for love from across the fence!i watched my mother suffer at the hands of my black father and it changed something in me.I'm not saying that all white men are good; just that they seem, i don't know, nicer to their women folk.does any one else hold this opinion? I'm thrilled out of my mind for this site because I'd not be comfortable with saying what I've just written here publicly! can someone tell me where- i.e. in which site- i can find quiet,sweet WHITE Gentlemen for a long term relationship?

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    • Dannyco56 says:
      Posted: 28 Jul 11

      There are good and bad men in every race. Be open to love when it comes and don't expect it to be wrapped in a certain package or you may miss it. Good Luck and God Bless!

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  6.   Godgivenbeauty says:
    Posted: 01 Jun 11

    Im a black woman.I dont agree with u putting all people in the same envy basket.We as black women dont care that a bm/bf are withe another race.Its the fact that either side will drag us over the coals to that white partner.And i see the black male doing this the most.They want to hurt the black women when he does this.He not only is bashing me.but his mother.and female child.So dont put me and others in your small minded world.Most black women that has it together have a large pool of man to be with.So your mouth service gets no play.The words you used are different.be you did the black man bash with them.And you are the kind that will defend a black man that does this.Figure out whats wrong in your life.befor you point your finger.Its called self hate when your own race does this.You look old enough to know this by now.im speaking for 32 black women in a building at this moment that have saw what you wrote.Be with who you want.but dont bash us doing it.And for the record my husband of30 years is white.And he thought the same when he saw your well thought out statement.You can love a white person.But if you dont love your own you wont ever no truelove with any person

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  7.   Robelto761 says:
    Posted: 28 May 11

    Race is very subjective, political and regional! In America some people still adhere to the old 1 drop Rule which the slave master made to keep Mulattoes which were growing in abundance to classify as Black in the Antebellum South to would benefit them as it would increase their number of slaves/property. Anyway, this is it, and the truth hurts, however, its a reality. White men prefer Mulattoes/ Creoles.(not derogatory) Women like Yasmine Guy, Selma Hayek, any mixed race women with Black but with more European features. There I said it. European men tend to like the real Negro women more than their counterparts in the US. ( Negro is a not a degratory word globally, refers to pure Blacks)

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    • whyt_b0y says:
      Posted: 29 May 11

      dude a real; man likes a man no matter if she is mixed,100% black ,a real man likes a woman .and black women thankfully come in all shaded and variances of skin tone none more or less attractive than the other . to try and classify what a race prefers is bogus and not to well thought out not to mention only your opinion that i'm quite sure other do not share . it's as ridiculous as this lame article i read this morning ... http://news.yahoo.com/s/atlantic/20110528/tc_atlantic/psychologytodayapologizesblackwomenlessattractivearticle38261

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    • whyt_b0y says:
      Posted: 29 May 11

      dude a real; man likes a woman no matter if she is mixed,100% black ,a real man likes a woman .and black women thankfully come in all shaded and variances of skin tone none more or less attractive than the other . to try and classify what a race prefers is bogus and not to well thought out not to mention only your opinion that i'm quite sure other do not share . it's as ridiculous as this lame article i read this morning ... http://news.yahoo.com/s/atlantic/20110528/tc_atlantic/psychologytodayapologizesblackwomenlessattractivearticle38261

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  8.   ChocolatLadi says:
    Posted: 25 May 11

    You might be right Unique 13.

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    • kutu7 says:
      Posted: 17 Mar 12

      Robelto761, all that technical bs don't matter, it's 2012 a man understands in america we have the right to choose. remember god created every man & he gave them the right to choose, its call free will. thank god for america

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  9.   unique13 says:
    Posted: 25 May 11

    All human beings possess the beauty and radiance that God has placed within them. There are beautiful women from every race that literally stun me when I'm shopping in the mall, for groceries, at church, or simply in the workplace. I respect and believe in people's preferences, and there's nothing at all wrong with having preferences...however, skin is skin...but love is eternal. There could be a woman I deem "average" looking, regardless of her race, but upon knowing this "average" looking woman and connecting deeply with her personality...her average appearance turns into the most beautiful face and body that I've ever laid my eyes on. I'm all for people finding love, but maybe we should just remain open for God to bring us the "right" one instead requiring and demanding that it has to "only" be a: black, Asian, Latin, or white one. Love is God and God is love. If you have one, you will certainly have the other.

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  10.   perfecto says:
    Posted: 22 May 11

    I find that the dark pigment of skin women to be very beautiful and well as their intersoul and their interbeing to be very lovealbe so what make a black woman their color is the pigment of their skin as well as for a white person as less pigment . As every one is on ths world we all human being we all have loving hearts, as well as a soul in side each of us!

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  11.   Demerera says:
    Posted: 18 May 11

    @kekebme who is James? Hope he has seen your post and responds ;-) Personally, I think variety IS the spice of life and I couldnt limit myself to one particular race. The specific and signficant reason for this is purely that I respond to the way I am being treated and when people treat me well, whatever 'guise' that comes under I am happy to embrace that. Simplistic I know but hey, life can be complicated and difficult enough is my theory anyway. I hope that when you ladies finally find your 'mate' that it is all that you've dreamed and more. There seem to be a lot of potential candidates on here and I hope they are making themselves known to you - lets hopefully see some threads on here from the regular posters on here featuring 'good' experiences soon :-)

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  12.   kekebme says:
    Posted: 17 May 11

    Wow, I'd like to get to know James!

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  13.   Made2SpoilU says:
    Posted: 17 May 11

    U know some people r on here w/ the wrg kind of attitude. If sum1 likes or desires a certain type woman or man or even a certain race of woman or man ur attitude shouldn't be "glad 2 hear that yawl white men can have ALL of them???? Seriously THEM!! I'm a blk female & no matter who I am w/ that never is 4gotten or changes...yeah real mature. How can any1 talk like that & be on this sight????? This is a sight where u r suppose 2 be able 2 be urself & be free 2 want 2 love who u want 2 love & be w/ who u want 2 be w/, w/out being critized or ridiculed bout it. If u love only white woman then that's u & me personnally I thk its great! But this is a world of free speech no matter how crazy, ignorant or immature one may sound u have the right 2 voice ur opinion. Plz note I'm note upset, I'm just really dissappointed in sum people's view on inter race relationships. Plz note u have 9 thumbs down so far Mr. "THEM"!!!!

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  14.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 15 May 11

    Up late: I thought I would catch up, & give everyone a big hello. I'm glad to see the disscussions are still going strong, some good & well some with same ol'tired remarks. Ah such is life, that's what makes us special-as a nation as well a different Society from the rest of the world........ Love & hugs Scoff & Sarah

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    • Dannyco56 says:
      Posted: 06 Jun 11

      Hello Scoff and Sarah, Glad to see you still come and check out what is happening on the site. It is good to see it is still going strong. Good to see that there are women and men opening up to love. God Bless! Danny

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  15.   lovemaking says:
    Posted: 15 May 11

    I'm glad to hear this - yall white men can have ALL of them! - sincerely, most black men with half a brain.

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    • timebetterspentonlove says:
      Posted: 18 May 11

      don't hate. u obviously came on this site looking for the opposite yourself. what u should be doing instead of wasting ur time being hateful. this wasn't even a relevant thread for u. most men with half a brain--as you can see so far you are the only bm on this thread, are over doing constructive relationship building with women interested in dating them, not over here kicking sand in an area set up for wm and bw to interact. what a waste of ur time on something destructive instead of constructive. no one asked you to enter w/negativity, you just invited yourself. felt obligated to bring the hate. don't get upset because there are constructive things going on between men and women without you. go get yours like you said you can. no bw was worried about getting with you in this thread or on this site, so i don't understand why you would come in this area where the focus is not on you, instead of another part of this site or another site altogether. go where you find yourself welcome and loved right up front. don't torture yourself and set yourself up for failure and get mad. go where you can be a winner from the gate. it's clear to me as a bw that you are upset and feel some animosity and hurt. nobody is on this thread hating on the black men, so don't go dishing hate. get over it, let it go. there is nothing you can do to stop people from being good to each other without you. be good to yourself and find your own love. you can do it. it doesn't have to be at trying to sabotage others. there is nothing to gain for you. you are not in the mix. but somebody is probably looking for you and wondering where and why you are wasting your time when you could be with them. Godspeed, brother. May the force of love be with you instead of hate to free your mind and your heart.

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    • Lavender9 says:
      Posted: 28 May 11

      Don't worry, we are looking forward to being with them as we have had enough of this modern generation of Negro men as you definitely aren't Black in my book. My father was a Black man who had lived during Jim Crow. He had little education but he took good care of my mother and us. He did not make babies and walk away; he did not make excuses rather the worked several jobs to take care of his family. He stood for something: family and community. He had real swagger as he moved with confidence and a strong sense of self and his history. Today's generation of Negro men is irresponsible, refuses to make a commitment to family and community. They intend to have sex with as many black women as possible and fill the prisons but will not set foot on a college campus or help rear their children. They are the laughing stock of the world. They thank god for their black mothers whose strength and perserverance has sustained them but they reject those qualities in black women who desire to be their mate. They idolize any group of women who is not a mirror image of them and their mothers. So, no longer are we willing to value men who do not value us. We should be dating our socio-economical equal and if he is White, then that's beautiful.

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    • Godgivenbeauty says:
      Posted: 02 Jun 11

      It is always the black man that looks like you that say that.why are you on here in the first place?You need to find out why you act this way towars a group of women you dont even know.This blog is about people want love.not hate.I feel very sorry for you.If one of my sistas hurt you.im sorry on "that" womans behalf.But not all woman are like that.And you find "bad" women in every race.You cant make love if you dont love

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  16.   yamz says:
    Posted: 13 May 11

    i believe we the blacks are so sweet and full of love i wish i have my darling now who i can be happy with forever congrats to all the married couples

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  17.   Made2SpoilU says:
    Posted: 12 May 11

    I feel that who u love is something 2 a point we have no control over. I love men, but being an army brat growing up I was exposed 2 so many races n cultures. To date outside my race is a norm 4 me. I like all men but I am dranw 2 men that r bi racial, light skined, latino, white or other races. I have to be honest w/ my feelings & I like what I like. I say u have 2 live ur life 4 urself & do what makes u happy. I have been on this site for 3 days now & so far I am loving the attention I'm getting from the men & I'm liking what I c. Can't wait 2 get full membership. I wish everybody the best in finding their true love. I pray God will be sending mine real soon! :D

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    • Dannyco56 says:
      Posted: 12 May 11

      I hope some of that attention pays off for you and it produces someone who will love you and make you happy and you will live a long life together. God Bless!

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  18.   Demerera says:
    Posted: 08 May 11

    Hi rgr384 I like that you like my comments - I like yours too :-) Sounds like a good basis for your relationship with your lady partner - companionship and beauty, you are a lucky man arent you. Anyway, hope you guys continue to be happy and thrive - good luck to you both x

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  19.   Ulysseas says:
    Posted: 07 May 11

    I simply believe that the type of beauty of a black woman for me is the best and if I will be so crazy to marry again she will be a nice, lovely , cute black chick, that's it! Obviously when comes the time for a serious relationship personality matters and it is the most important factor. -

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  20.   rgr384 says:
    Posted: 07 May 11

    I like the comments above by Demerera. I have dated black women in the past and am currently dating a beautiful, wonderful black woman who makes me feel really good about being with her. I thoroughly enjoy who she is as a person and her character and genuineness. She is a wonderful woman who I am quickly falling in love with. I find that I miss her when I'm not with her. I long to be with her all of the time and look forward to conversations with her, messages from her and just being with her. I feel proud and lucky that I'm with her and want to do things to take care of her. For me, I am very attracted to her for many reasons. I am very attracted to black women, but for her it's more about the person that I'm attracted to and the fact that she is black and beautiful is just icing on the cake.

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    • kissme18 says:
      Posted: 13 Aug 11

      Wow she's lucky 2 have u. Your amazing I long 4 what she has found in u .

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  21.   monical82 says:
    Posted: 05 May 11

    that sounds like a very logical way to veiw this subject, I love white guys :D

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  22.   Mark says:
    Posted: 03 May 11

    lbrowng"s comment says it all. If you are attracted to that person none of these things matter.

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  23.   Ojsquirt says:
    Posted: 01 May 11

    Black women are my favorite. I just love everything about them. I wouldn't change a thing about them

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    • kissme18 says:
      Posted: 13 Aug 11

      Awwwww how sweet thanx. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmuah here's sum chocolate kisses

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  24.   Mahoghony says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 11

    This a nice article. I agree with James' views. As a woman now, I remember that white boys were always attracted to me. So as I became a woman, I learned not to judge a man by the color of his skin. Likewise, I find white men to be more direct and go after what they want in my own personal experiences. Thus it has become my preference to date white men.

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  25.   hotrod2009 says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 11

    I believe that a lot of people that criticize interracial dating are just jealous. They don't have the guts or nerve to date whom they choose. They are to busy letting society dictate to them who they should date. True love has no color. If you are attracted to someone of another race or culture, go for it. You never know, that person might just be the one.

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  26.   blue1 says:
    Posted: 26 Apr 11

    The curves and the beauty are definately what attractes me. However, it is more about attitude of the average black woman that is most attractive. The willingness to go for what she wants is important. Many black women are also independent. This is all appealing. Sexuality is an individual thing and you can't classify a group of women that way. The big curve does rule.

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  27.   patriot9878 says:
    Posted: 22 Apr 11

    Black women are more agressive. They have nice looking butts in school. But you just don't see many White guys with Black women. What they do is take Black women out of town. I know a guy one night was talking to these Black girls and he started saying things like scrait and screet and they started laughing their asses off.

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  28.   Demerera says:
    Posted: 18 Apr 11

    On the subject of interactial dating I am a black woman who has been with her white partner for 15 years. Was my ethnicity the thing that drew me to him? No (though I suspect it was the fact that I was a few years older than him and he had a bit of an Oedipus complex LOL). Was his ethnicity something that I worshipped and revered? Certainly not. My memories of white boys were of those who told me I was ugly and a horrible colour and did all they could to undermine me and subjugate me in life but, having said that I have always kept a perspective as I have experienced negative aspects from all cultures (including my own) so I learned very quickly to appreciate and accept those that were decent to me regardless of colour. My strong and very beautiful black mother was a constant reminder that I must not allow all the negativity to continue to be a factor into my adult life. I was talking to an elderly white guy who said he knew this 'coloured' girl who was dating a white guy and she had told him she would never date a black man as they were no good!!!! Perhaps he was expecting an understanding and agreeable approach from me (he had probably seen hubby picking me up and dropping me off to work) but to his dismay I showed openly my disgust and said quite plainly that the said female must have her own issues to convey something like that. I refuse to engage further with people like that and justify my response - he probably thinks I am the contrary one being with a white man but not saying something similar to that female. I know what my motiviations are and they are clear - I want to love and to be loved, I demand respect and will give respect. I must bring my children up in an environment where they have a strong grip and perspective of reality (though they are mixed race and my ancestry is diverse they are and will always for the world be known as black) and my husband understands this too. When people trash a particular race of man I also agree that it is the type of man and NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH THE COLOUR that is the issue here. For example, (careful, stereotyping ahead) I find some white women who date black men have bad experiences and bemoan their situation, go for the same kind of black men thereafter perpetuating the cycle of the same damaging relationships BUT these women invariably have their own serious isssues to begin with anyway. I know of lots of white men who turn me off with their so called desire for women of colour. These guys often think they know more about being black than black people themselves (they know music and think thats all there is to it) and I cringe when that whole ridiculous swagger and speech tries to mimic that of black men. I find they want a trophy black woman who will complete their image of 'cool' - that being said of course I do understand why they would feel that this enhances their profile :-) but I am not there for them to use me in that way. Their pride should be genuine if i am honest - please dont get up in arms about this, some of this is tongue in check. I do find that I get white men approaching me more - maybe I have an open countenance or they are becoming more brave OR and I think most likely, in my locality they have seen me with my OH and assume I go for 'white guys'. If only they knew - variety is the spice of life and for me when I was younger life was a box of chocolates LOL. Many of you may find my comment harsh or think I am bonkers - I can be both but at this stage I am neither . I am a woman who has pride in herself and that includes my sexuality and my cultural heritage which I am happy to say is the very essence of who I am and maybe, just maybe that in part is what my husband loves about me...and who can blame him. Anyway, wish you guys luck in your quest for happiness - please please please though, whilst others say that colour is blind etc for some your blackness is all they will see - no matter what they say.

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  29.   shelli001 says:
    Posted: 17 Apr 11

    Hlello Classicshock, My heart melted as I read all the qualities that your fiancee possess. Notwithstanding the fact that she's a most wonderful BW, the qualities you spoke about, ideally should be between any two partners, wouldn't you say? One almost forgets that she is Black, reading your story. Regrettably, in a society that has historically pushed-the-envelope with regards to race and sexuality, race and love do continue to matter in many cases. Several years ago, I dated a most wonderful WM. We had many commonalities and similar values. After several years of dating one another, and just really enjoying life together, I wondered if we were likely to take our relationship to another level. It was a fearful place for him, deciding to build a life's commitment with a BW. Much of my ex's fear was influenced by others close to him, dissuading him in matters of interracial dating, other than for sexually gratification. I am an incurable romanticist, wanting to experience that all-powerful and "telling love". A responsible love is between two people who can and are always willing to wither-the-storm, whatever that storm is : Racial angst; financial woes, family ostracism. Classicshock, my heart is happy for you and your fiancee! May your love last a lifetime! Sharing your story; your happiness is a testimony to be heard by many!

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  30.   mixedchix says:
    Posted: 17 Apr 11

    Thanks for sharing all this insight into the things WM like about BW. I am Malaysian/Black mix and find myself attracted to WM moreso these days. I dont know if its a fantasy or me growing up and opening my eyes(I'm 28). But I don't even want to date black men anymore (sorry), they are just toooo emotionally reclusive for me. I like to give love and I NEED to feel that love reciprocated; which BM have a hard time doing.

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  31.   brebri58 says:
    Posted: 17 Apr 11

    Iam attracted to black women. They exube a confidence and beauty that is very alluring to me.

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  32.   classicshock says:
    Posted: 17 Apr 11

    I'm a WM engaged to a BW. I very much agree with the individual you quoted. Black women are wonderful alternatives for white men for a NUMBER of reasons, in my opinion. I won't make broad generalities, but I will relate my personal experience about my fiance - and I do believe that many of these traits apply to many of the black women I've met. 1) She's independent and self-sufficient emotionally. I find, as a result, that she has incredible strength. I consider myself an emotionally strong man - I've been through a lot. But I can't compare to her in this category. She's simply amazing. 2) She doesn't take ANYTHING for granted.This woman knows what it's like to make her way in the world. She has worked hard in her life and had very little given to her. She knows what it's like to work for something - and that goes for relationships. She has stuck by my side during times that ANY of my white girlfriends would have been long gone. Her loyalty and devotion are a true thing of beauty. 3) She has an amazing work ethic and determination. I've never seen anyone work so hard to achieve her goals. She simply won't be beaten down by life. What a role model she is for other people (including my sorry ass). 4) She is not afraid to love completely. There is no reservation in her. I know she loves me and would do anything for me. How can I not feel the same way for her? Screw the sense of vulnerability and fear. Her fearlessness completely won my heart. 5) She knows how to discuss differences without becoming completely unwound and knows how to forgive. Yes, she's got a lot of passion, and I hate being on the wrong side of it. But when we do have a misunderstanding or disagreement, she states her case and discuss it. Thus, we can arrive at a mutual conclusion quickly. And because we care so much about each other, that's not difficult at all. I love giving in to her.. 6) She has an amazing sense of humor. We laugh about everything. She loves to have fun, has tons of energy and is just a blast to hang out with. I sound whipped, don't I?

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    • Darlinu says:
      Posted: 18 Jun 11

      Classicshock, this is the most romantic piece, I have read anywhere, regarding love for your woman! In all my years, I have never known a man, to read his woman so completely....and then go on to appreciate it so sweetly. You touched a lot of hearts on this site and I hope other men take notice...there is nothing sexier to a woman, any woman, than a man who is totally into you. This covers a multitude of sins...and will cause us as woman, to do anything for you. Peace!

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    • onetreehill says:
      Posted: 20 Jun 11

      You really have a keeper. Don't mess it up. Great story. Best wishes to both of you.

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    • TriniLi says:
      Posted: 24 Jul 11

      Classicshock!! I ve never read anthing like this !! I feel incredibly touched !! I just asked my Heavenly Father to send me someone just like you!! BW in the caribbean

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    • kissme18 says:
      Posted: 13 Aug 11

      Thank u sexy white king . I prefer latino men but I as a black woman truely appreciate this beautiful message you've written on our behalf . It feels good to be appreciated. Thanx again.

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    • sasha212 says:
      Posted: 19 Aug 11

      simply beautiful...., had to comment and i hardly do!!!....i know my sucess story is on its way like urs.. cheers:)

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    • liam358 says:
      Posted: 06 Nov 11

      if that how good the love is whip me lol

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  33.   Karlala says:
    Posted: 15 Apr 11

    I just want love and I don't care what color it comes wrapped in, can I get an amen?!?

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    • Redandready says:
      Posted: 13 Jul 11

      I COMEND YOU ON YOUR STAND WITH YOUR WOMAN AND THANK TO YOU THERE ARE GUYS LIKE YOU STILL AROUND IMYSELF IS A BLK WOMAN AND I ONLY DATE WHITE GUYS,I HAVE BEEN MARRY 3 TIME BEFORE AND MY HUSBANDS WERE LAZY,A DRUNK,AND A BACK STAB,(MY 1ST ONE GOT MY BF PERGANT);2ND ONE DIDN'T WANNA WORK,3RD ONE WAS A DRUNK AND HE SHOT ME 2 INCH FROM MY HEART AND I HAVE A BROKEN JAW BEHIND IT ,2ND @ 3RD HAS DIED,1ST ONE WE ARE BF NOW BUT THE POINT IS I'M DONE WITH BLK MEN AND ONLY WILL DATE WHITE NOW AND FOEVER,,BE BLESS IN YOUR FUTURE

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    • Ladyshay000 says:
      Posted: 30 Jul 11

      amen sista, amen!

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  34.   smileyface79 says:
    Posted: 15 Apr 11

    Don't want a white guy to seek me me out, just to see what I'm like in the bedroom. I want a real relationship!

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  35.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 14 Apr 11

    Love is not color blind, I know that my wife is black and I L-O-V-E her. Cut her, you cut me; you insult her, you insult me; what people don't understand is that despite our obvious differences that in the ways that count we are on the same page. We both grew military brats of father's who left that south to get out why the getting was good. They both served in Vietnam and Korea and my mom is 1st generation and her mom was foreign born and OMG we both have religious values. Oh by the way she is my greatest blessing

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  36.   lbrowng says:
    Posted: 06 Apr 11

    True love has no color barrier.The heart is what matters most.I am all for loving who you want regardless of color.Not for the experience but for the true love connection.Because at the end of the day the color of a person's skin is not what's going to hold the relationship together.It would be sad to pass up someone based on their race alone.Love is where the sweet heart is no matter what color skin it's in. God Bless us all in our search for true love and happiness.

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    • free2bme74 says:
      Posted: 09 Apr 11

      I couldn't agree more with all that you just said...I am teaching my children that it is perfectly okay to date and marry (when they're responsible adults) whomever they like, but to never forget who you are, meaning just stay true to yourself!

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      • sunflower211 says:
        Posted: 10 Apr 11

        Love for me is color blind. When I look at a person I try not to see the color of their skin, but their heart. Skin is very superficial . It has nothing to do with a persons character. At the end of the day when your laying in bed next to the one you LOVE , skin color won't matter . The only thing that will matter will be that persons sincere and genuine love for you and vice versa. :)

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  37.   destiny116 says:
    Posted: 05 Apr 11

    In less than sixty years (in the USA), we've managed to arrive at a place where race relations may be discussed in a civil manner. I enjoy reading the commentary posted here. As the offspring of two bi-racial parents, reading this open discourse fills me with hope. We don't have to agree on every point, but the willingness to communicate in a polite and thoughtful manner is a critical step in a positive direction. Now back to my role as quiet spectator!

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  38.   RockRaven says:
    Posted: 05 Apr 11

    I will date any man regardless of race and have a white ex-husband and a biracial child. I happen to agree that if there is one thing that will turn me off of a white man is if he sees me as some chocolate/mocha/exotic/brown. blah blah blah. I feel objectified. Like I'm some kind of new experiment. I couldn't picture them saying similar things to thier white significant other. Its all well and good to enjoy my skin, my eyes, my hair, my shape, but if that is all you talk about, if its in your profile, its a turn off for me. When I see things like "Looking for my mocha princess"I'm prone to think that you really don't care that I lived in Europe for two years or that I'm a devoted Yankees fan or a voracious reader. I'm thinking you just want to know what its like to be with your exotic brown girl. Now that may or may not be true, but that's just how it makes me feel. Just saying.

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  39.   HappyPhoenix says:
    Posted: 04 Apr 11

    sorry .... for the typos ... i have to slow down I don't want to be rude, but maybe this is not a racial issue. Why are you sleeping with any man black or white, who isn’t trying to offer you any kind of commitment? I don't know how long the two of you were dating before you became intimate, but if you really know someone and love them any comments that are made about your skin shouldn't make you feel like an animal. All that should have been worked out before he made it to your bedroom. Some black men do the same thing in regards to preferences in skin color. (Light skin, Dark skin) Can I speak bluntly; some white men are on this site because they hope that all the stereo types about us (black women) turn out to be true. They hope that we will jump into bed with just about anyone based on all the miserable statistics about us ( children out of wedlock, poverty, low standards)How many of these white men are married and figure their white wife would never look for them here. Since they (white wife) probably feel that we would be the last women on the planet that anyone would want anyway. Black women wake up!! We are good for more than just sex, stop giving it up so soon and wait for a real commitment.

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  40.   Christa2 says:
    Posted: 03 Apr 11

    @eddy Ready yeah yeah i get it.You know people have a way of interpreting things and sadly others ignore the simple facts of which i think is kinda wierd.Anyway i get you.

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  41.   honey_bee03 says:
    Posted: 02 Apr 11

    Well, I have dated both black and white guys and I do not think that their race is the issue...it is them! I was in a 6 year, long distance, interracial relationship. This guy treated me sooooo good, he was there for me to talk to, we visited each other every month or so. He treated me like a man should, but the only problem was....HIS FAMILY. His family did not approve of him dating me because of my BEAUTIFUL color ;) So eventually, that became a HUGE factor in our relationship. He began to lie about things pertaining to that issue and stuff...he was not confident in US. So sooner or later I was tired of it and walked away from the situation. Since then, I dated 2 black guys that both lied to me and cheated on me. So, see it does matter what race a person is, it depends solely on that person and where they are at in their life.

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  42.   Christa2 says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 11

    I totally disagree with those people who say that they don't see color.Are you guys blind or something?Color is there and we need to embrace all colors.You can't deny the fact that a particular person is white or black or any other race.That would totally be wierd(lack of a better word to use).So friends,color is there and we can all see it and the fact that we can chose to appreciate one's color is trully amazing

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    • EddyReady/BigTen says:
      Posted: 03 Apr 11

      @Christa2 Yes,everybody see's the differents,Christa.I belive when most people say color dosen't matter,it's just the way they are saying it.Sometimes you have to read between the lines.They are really meaning it the right way !

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  43.   carena27 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 11

    in terms of friendship, i consider all races equal, but when it comes to dating, i restrict myself to white men.i have had bad experiences with african men before and none from a white man.thats not to say that all black or african men are bad, but the few i dated taught me a worthy lesson.

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  44.   LoveMeOrHateMe says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 11

    Im only 18 and very open minded about interracial dating. I cant stand the fact that there are not that many my age that are not opened to that. I wish to one day find that caucasian, asian, korean, chinese, japanese, latino, porterican, or whatever to treat me like a lady and with respect with unconditional love.

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  45.   EddyReady/BigTen says:
    Posted: 27 Mar 11

    @Printems23 So true honey ! I judge a lady by the way she acts,nothing else. EddyReady/BigTen cares !

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  46.   printems23 says:
    Posted: 26 Mar 11

    I don't see color when I see people. All races have their attributes and shortcomings. If a man treats me fairly, respects me and love me for who I am, it doesn't matter what color he is.

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  47.   LMarcelle says:
    Posted: 26 Mar 11

    We all know that a man is a man, and a woman is a woman, but we all come from different cultures, made up of different shades, but there is good in all, and unfortunately there is bad in all. There are good women, and there are bad women. There are good men, and there is bad men. It is up to us to find our good, rather it comes in vanilla, caramel, mocha,or coffee.

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  48.   Christa2 says:
    Posted: 26 Mar 11

    A white guy and a black woman?What a PERFECT match.

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    • EddyReady/BigTen says:
      Posted: 03 Apr 11

      @Christa2 True that,honey.The best of both worlds ! I woun't have it any other way ! EddyReady/BigTen cares !

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  49.   Shaninja says:
    Posted: 25 Mar 11

    What does color matter anyway?!?! The way i was raised, it matters not one bit!

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  50.   ebonygeek says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 11

    The point I'm trying to make is this. Interracial dating for the sake of dating other races, but your own is STUPID! That's just as stupid as some man who only dates woman with big TIts or a woman who only dates men with ...you get my point. If you have so much disdain for your race that you have to seek out other cultures. You don't need to be dating, but you need to seek emotional help and work out those issues you have established in your OWN mind. Yes, remember this! When you start generalizing races of men, that is your OWN theory and the theory of those who benefit from it. It's not FACT! Let me make some examples of things I have heard: Example 1: I dated black men, but they always treated me wrong" - THAT'S BECAUSE YOU CHOSE THE BLACK ASSHOLES TO MESS WITH AND NOT GOOD BLACK MEN! Example 2. # oluchi007 says: March 20, 2011 at 10:59 i have not dated a white man before, but many of my friends got married to white men and they are happy, so i learn from them that white men are more careing to there women than black and again they are honest so am here to find him and i will be so so proud to have him in my life. <<<I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! If you truly believe that, you really need to seek help! PS, Please fix your typos! White men are more Caring??? Woman please! Do you remember hurricane Katrina and the state of LA. Bush sure cared didn't he?? Ask Diana Ross - Her hubby(white) Often cared for her with a right upper cut! I can go on, but you get the idea. There are many cool white men in the world , but there are some messed up ones too. Hey...this actually goes for all men! A lot of women have chosen the wrong type of men in their past. Not RACE but TYPE. If you date a wife beater or player. That's on you! Stop blaming a whole race of men for your dating woes!

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    • frenchChris says:
      Posted: 24 Mar 11

      Yes, I agree with you on that point, I dated different "races" till now, I am not stucked in black women fantasy at all, and I did find demons or angels, or "inbetweens" in each... The same when I hear everytime some women telling that white men are really more faithful... Well it is a legend! A lot, a lot of white men do have "another office" than home, perhaps black men are less hung-up on that point, perhaps and I am really not sure, but white men just do the same! Stop all these cliches on "coloured" people, meaning black, white, yellow or whatever men... One day long ago, my youngest brother (he was 5 at this time) just asked why my girl-friend was black... Well I just told him that it was because she came from a country where sun is shining strongly all the time... That is just as simple as that! And the same concerning nationalities! Personnally, as a French man, I face all the time the same cliches about how a French man is supposed to be, cultured, caring, romantic, whatever... Well, you just can find all that outside France as well!! You just have to look a little harder, and well, it is the same in France, you have to look for a while before to find all that in a person! That is just a matter of person and feeling, of values and education... But well, I am not an hypocrit, and I do prefer black women because of their wonderful skin, of their small of the back, because of their smile... But I do like frank, intelligent and caring women too, and I found that in some black women as I found that in some Arab women, or Asian women... But well, all that points too are not always foundable in a black woman, some are well educated, some are not, some are ugly and some are overwhelmingly beautiful, some have flat buttocks, and so on... And so I am searching hard to find these points on a person, as at the same time I am looking for frank, intelligent and faithful woman, and a beautiful and sexy woman... lol So, in short I agree with you, and I could add that cliches is not the privilege of one ethnic group as well lol

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      • belle10 says:
        Posted: 26 Mar 11

        Touche`... FrenchChris, I couldn't agree with you more on the point that for every stereotype there are always exceptions to the rule. I kind of think that people should stop painting members of one race or nationality with the same brush stroke because everyone is an individual. I also think that those coming onto this site with the thought that they are going to meet a "perfect" man/woman from one race over the other, are really off the mark and will likely be disappointed. As much is it is okay to prefer a certain race, it shouldn't be because they are better than another race but it should be because of just that... a preferrence; much like one person prefers a red rose, another a yellow rose, yet another a white rose even though they are all beautiful. I know IR, Black, and White couples who are very happy together because they found love in each other. I hope you all find LOVE.

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    • Dannyco56 says:
      Posted: 29 Mar 11

      @ebonygeek It is true there are good and bad in every race and we all find different qualities attractive. I think that two people have to be attracted to one another before they can fall in love. I also believe that two people can fall out of love. Both have to work at a relationship if one gives up the other might carry the relationship for a while but at some point even they will give up. Love is the thing we all seek more than anything because it validates us. Always let the one you love know that you do love them and always let them know how much you love them. Show them how much you love them and tell them everyday because we all need to hear it! God Bless!

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    • Diani7 says:
      Posted: 01 Apr 11

      Oh, Ebonygeek is a black man. That explains his hostility. Just saw his picture. If you don't like black women dating white men, then get off this site. Post a message on blacklove.com or something.

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      • EddyReady/BigTen says:
        Posted: 03 Apr 11

        @Diani7 I done had that figured out to,baby girl.He know's to much about how the white man feels about the beautiful sista's,and how their relationships will never work.Lol.It Don't take long to pick out the haters from the one's that are making honest and sincere comments.You never here a sista complaining about a brother dating white.It's always the other way around ! Stay sweet ! EddyReady/BigTen cares !

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